I started my new job this past week. Yes, you read that right: I started a new job in the middle of a pandemic. I fought with my GPS, driving here, driving there, to try to get myself set up as a a new employee. On Day Three, Google led me directly past where I needed to go, right into a road that I wasn’t technically allowed to enter. That was fun to explain, right before I was forced to do a U-turn, pass Go and forgo collecting my $200.
On Day Four, Google told me to go straight at a gate that was closed and barricaded. Google clearly insisted on this, and then I believe brought me to a second gate that was also closed and barricaded. I drove around on private property, trying to force the GPS to reroute and recalculate itself to give me Option B. During this time, I was praying fervently that I would make it to my appointment on time and hoping a curious cop wouldn’t find me and pull me over.
I finally ended up doing a huge circle, on and off the highway, and got back to where I started. My GPS then repeated the same directions that got me into my predicament in the first place
“Take a left at Sesame Street,” Google chirped from my phone. “Sunny days. Everything is, A-Okay!..”🎶
“SHUT UP, GOOGLE!!!”
Let’s just say, my GPS and I are not talking at the moment.
To prove that miracles do happen, I got to where I needed to be. I’m sure my guardian angel was peeing his pants at this point, laughing hysterically. I park and then go into the building to get my ID card. I go into the wrong building, get directions, and arrive in front of the correct front desk at about 12:47–two minutes after my appointment. I’m told to check in at a kiosk (that was not sanitized between users, I hasten to add) and to wait outside in my car. No waiting in the lobby. They would text me when they were ready. Sounds good and reasonable, right? Well, 45 minutes later, I and several other new employees find out the text messaging system isn’t working. We had been waiting for no reason. The response I get from the workers?
“We were wondering where everyone was…”
Wonderful initiative, people. Well done.
Inbetween all of these adventures was preparations for the coronavirus, new schedules and routines and reading the news everyday. It’s been surreal, folks. It’s like a Resident Evil movie. Can I be Alice?
But in the words of Walt Disney: we keep moving forward. Don’t give up. And try not to worry about tomorrow. I’m putting my trust in the guy with the dusty sandals. Whatever happens.
In the meantime, I’m laughing at my adventures and thanking God for all the things I got accomplished this week, despite the craziness.
How are you doing? Busy building toliet paper castles yet? See you next time. Ker kaw! 🦉🧻🏰