Our fridge broke the other week. I, being the ever so stubborn persistent person that I am, researched on YouTube and Google and did all the “common issue” maintenance I safely could, Han Solo. I thought I fixed it, but alas. Our purchased thermometers confirmed: the temperature did not stay consistent in neither the freezer nor the fridge areas. Food poisoning was lurking out in our hallway, robed in her purple velvet cloak, snickering and smirking while smelling of rancid milk. I threw an aluminum air freshener can at her.
Out, we threw all our perishable food items away. Out went my beloved hummus, Tamari, pickles and the beautiful gift of Mexico: salsa. Oh, my wounded fajita.
I kicked Food Poisoning outside into a rose bush. She’s still out there, glowering and sulking, darting me nasty looks and stale crackers with old sardines.
“And stay out!!!” I thundered at Food Poisoning, while making my editor wince at my choices in punctuation.
I closed my curtains and proceed onto writing Part II of my manuscript in progress. Progress and somethings.
Then we called in a refrigerator professional…A PhD in Refrigeratology. He did his thesis on the thermodynamics of frozen strawberry ice cream. 🍓
“It’s the compressor. Parts, labor, etc…it’ll be almost $1000. I can order the parts and get it done on Friday.”
Bzzt. Pass. Boop. Boop, beep, bazooga… Ordered one from Costco. Check. Adulting for $2000, in the bag. But wait. We’ll get it…in four weeks? We’ve already gone two weeks without a fridge at this point. To the batmobile!
Late evening trip to the store. Three items bought: exactly ONE mini fridge (thank you Back to School section; how are you enjoying purgatory?) and two packs of wax melts. For aroma therapy, and science, you know. 👩🔬
Whirlpool: “Is your door opening at least 36″ wide? We’re going to deliver your fridge two weeks early. Surprises and mazel tov.”
Two answers: YAY and Nay. Who has doors that wide? What are we, a stable? The Prancing Pony? Pemberley? Don’t engineers think of this stuff when they make these machines? And Costco–what’s with the $9000 refrigerators? Good grief, does it tell you you’re pretty in the morning and make your cereal, too?
“You’re looking mighty fine this morning, Mrs. Clayton. Got your Total right here. Just how you like it. With oat milk and plenty of it. See you at lunch, foxy lady.”
Don’t make eye contact. Back out of kitchen slowly and go upstairs, back to work. Order in for lunch. Check.
Just some humor there and story snippets from your runoff the Pandemic 2020 sludge mill I’m throwing unicorn confetti and M&M’s into. We’ve had many a chateau maintenance issue-wissue this summer, but we have slayed them all. Duck and cover, leaking basement window. You’re next! 💧
Back from my summer break, a few weeks early. My book is going better and I hope to finish the first draft by the end of the month (or very close to it). Writing tip: if you start to scare yourself with your writing, you’re on the right track. Unless you’re not a horror author. Then you may just need some sleep and a cup of tea. Or better glasses. 👓
Until then, wear a mask, avoid the lady lurking outside in the rose bushes and have some hummus and carrot sticks. Have mini fridge, will travel.
Feel free to share said bloggy if you so feel inclined. Bloggy would be most pleased. Adieu. 📝
Peregrine Arc 
Loved your description of food poisoning. I’m sure she’s on her way to find another home. She’s very resilient.
Thank you! And yes, I think you’re right. Maybe we can throw another can of air freshener at her.
Reblogged this on Fae Corps Inc.
Thank you!
On my first date with my fiance, he showed up and had food poisoning. We both laugh at it now. I guess he figured anybody who would put up with someone that had food poisoning was a keeper.
Oh wow. Absolutely. I’ve heard it’s a horrible experience. Thanks for sharing and glad it worked out!