Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: My Summary of Crocheting (Humor) πŸ§Ά

I watched a couple tutorials about crocheting today. Another skill I could perhaps learn and make useful things using yarn. I don’t know what I was thinking.

I tried to learn how to knit once. The knitting needles were flung into the nearest wall in a fit of rage and ire, the likes of which has never been seen again. People who visited thought I had a porcupine living in my walls. No, no. It was just a visual reminder I kept to remember the evil that was and to never return to again. Ever.

The saint (my spouse) can knit and sew a bit, and quite well; he enjoys it. He’s been collecting quite a stash of yarn for his projects. He’s a patient teacher but I would rather do anything else, short of murder, than knit.

Here’s my summary of the evil that is crocheting. And remember now, this is humor.

🧢🧢🧢

“Yarn over… Yarn over… This here is a chain. It becomes a prison of crocheting. Yarn over some more… Now we’re going to do something very simple, you peons, so please do try to keep up this time. We’re going to do a triple, double, ventriloquist, three quarter backflip, in Chinese. Now take the third loop, feed through, you should have six loops now… If you don’t, all hope is lost and you have failed miserably. If you’re still with me, cast off a fish and off we go…!”

Ain’t life grand? No wonder cats attack balls of yarn. They were trying to save us all this time…Thanks, Fluffy. 🐱

Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Labrador Lessons

Author: Dog Owner Truths (Humor Needed in 2020) πŸ’© πŸ’€πŸ₯•

Fun fact: I own a dog who is not only never happy, she’s also never had food before. I’ll offer her a baby carrot* on which she’ll crunch on and then look at me shortly for another.

“I’ve never had a carrot before, mother.”

“You just had six.”

*intense stare with violin music*

The next day, I offer her a mushroom while cooking.

“I’ve never had a mushroom, mother–“

The next-next day.

“Would you like your dinner?”

“I’ve never had—“

You get the jist.

In fact, she was just whining to me while I typed this. I looked up, asked her to come to my chair…and watched as she passed me and sauntered into the kitchen instead.

The sassiness is real.

I once had a vet tech tell me my dog was overweight. (She was, but only by a few pounds, which she quickly shed with walks. The saint and I both thought she was too thin after we rescued her. Apparently we went overboard on the treats…)

The vet tech said “If your dog is still hungry after her meals, try mixing in frozen veggies into her kibble.”

I just stared at this said vet tech. I wanted to know where she went to school. Had she ever owned a dog? What mockery was this?

“She’s a Lab. They’re ALWAYS hungry!”

It’s a universally acknowledged truth, that a plate in possession of a delicious meal is clearly in want of a Labrador…


I should go back now and educate this young vet tech some more. How my dog loves to sniff out other animal poo (and eat it, if she’s too fast for us to stop her), jump around excitedly after successfully going herself (a practice I think we should all adopt) and her penultimate favorite:

She loves to eat dead things. Case in point:

I think a hawk or an owl dropped a half of something in our backyard one day, that used to be a whole something. Oh, don’t you worry–my dog found it. Yes, indeed. And proceeded to put it inside her mouth! That was a happy day for her. Oh, happy, happy days. And an entertaining day for my neighbors as well, while they watched me chase my dog around our yard and pry her little stubborn jaws open…


Just some quick humor, all you wonderful readers. I ordered a ring light for my YouTube channel (which is recently, yet slowly, up and running). I’m hoping to film some more this weekend and picked up some goodies for some projects. Subscribe, follow and sashsay.

Write on! ✏️

Feel free to share said bloggy if you so feel inclined. Bloggy would be most pleased. Adieu.

*Check PetMD and or with your vet before giving your dog different foods to try. Be safe–their bodies and nutritional needs are different than ours.

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Entropy & Hysterical Chuckles (Humor | Return from Summer) πŸ‘

Our fridge broke the other week. I, being the ever so stubborn persistent person that I am, researched on YouTube and Google and did all the “common issue” maintenance I safely could, Han Solo. I thought I fixed it, but alas. Our purchased thermometers confirmed: the temperature did not stay consistent in neither the freezer nor the fridge areas. Food poisoning was lurking out in our hallway, robed in her purple velvet cloak, snickering and smirking while smelling of rancid milk. I threw an aluminum air freshener can at her.

Out, we threw all our perishable food items away. Out went my beloved hummus, Tamari, pickles and the beautiful gift of Mexico: salsa. Oh, my wounded fajita.

I kicked Food Poisoning outside into a rose bush. She’s still out there, glowering and sulking, darting me nasty looks and stale crackers with old sardines.

And stay out!!!” I thundered at Food Poisoning, while making my editor wince at my choices in punctuation.

I closed my curtains and proceed onto writing Part II of my manuscript in progress. Progress and somethings.

Then we called in a refrigerator professional…A PhD in Refrigeratology. He did his thesis on the thermodynamics of frozen strawberry ice cream. πŸ“

Continue reading “Entropy & Hysterical Chuckles (Humor | Return from Summer) πŸ‘”

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: “The Pan-Dammit” Pandemic (Snarky Humor)🀦🌴

I lost my cherub-like demeanor today. It crept up slowly. I went to one of my favorite bookstores/nerdy stores today. I had been looking forward to it all day, as they recently reopened (partially). Shortly upon entering, I was told “May I help you find anything? We’re closing in ten minutes.” I smiled politely (pointless behind my mask) and said “No thank you” and proceeded to find the saint to leave. Then another worker came up to me:

“WE’RE CLOSING IN FIVE MINUTES. GET YOUR CRAP AND GET OUT, YOU LITTLE PUNK!!”

Ahem. I exaggerate a little, but that’s how the message filtered into my brain. Sniff.

Continue reading “Author: “The Pan-Dammit” Pandemic (Snarky Humor)🀦🌴”

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: Peregrine’s Arc Hits 300 Followers, Book Sale & New Book UpdateπŸ¦‰

A big thank you to everyone who has followed my blog. I’ve been noticing the blog growing over the past few weeks and wanted to make sure to stop and thank my new followers. Welcome! 😊

If anyone needs a book to read during the pandemic, please check out my book at Amazon. In celebration of the blog’s growth (and because money can be a little tight for some people right now), my book is on sale for $9 hard copy and $3.99 for ebook.* If you have Kindle Unlimited, it’s free. If you want to read it but can’t order right now, ask an obliging librarian to order a copy for you when you’re allowed to return to the library. It’s the wonderful magic of public libraries and they can add it to their circulation. 😊

Book update: GOTD** is coming along…better. I’ve had a harder time getting to know my protagonist with this book. She’s a bit shy, but her name is Blaire and she’s much younger than Memory Bound’s protagonist. She has a quiet voice, but I think I’m listening better. That’s what we writers do, right? We listen to the story already being told. Or something like that.

GOTD is another horror novel, but good horror. Good horror, as I’ve written about on this blog, is hard to find. It’s an art to scare people, to reveal true monsters instead of falling back on cheap scares, grungy writing or stale entertainment tactics. I learned a lot from writing Memory Bound. I’m taking my time writing GOTD, but hope to have my first draft written by the end of summer. The saint is gently holding me to this deadline. How is your writing going?

Cheers, everyone. And happy writing. Ker-kaw! ✏️

*I just adjusted the prices on Amazon and it can take up to 72 hours to show up. If the prices look higher than what I listed above, try coming back later once Amazon approves my changes. πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘

**I give out my book titles in acronyms before they’re published. MB was Memory Bound.

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: Grocery Shopping During a Pandemic πŸš” πŸ§ΎπŸ’Έ

Before I tell you this story, to quote the comedian Mike Birbiglia: “Remember, you’re on my side.”

Continue reading “Author: Grocery Shopping During a Pandemic πŸš” πŸ§ΎπŸ’Έ”

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: How Are You & New job Storytime (Humor)πŸš—πŸ§­

I started my new job this past week. Yes, you read that right: I started a new job in the middle of a pandemic. I fought with my GPS, driving here, driving there, to try to get myself set up as a a new employee. On Day Three, Google led me directly past where I needed to go, right into a road that I wasn’t technically allowed to enter. That was fun to explain, right before I was forced to do a U-turn, pass Go and forgo collecting my $200.

On Day Four, Google told me to go straight at a gate that was closed and barricaded. Google clearly insisted on this, and then I believe brought me to a second gate that was also closed and barricaded. I drove around on private property, trying to force the GPS to reroute and recalculate itself to give me Option B. During this time, I was praying fervently that I would make it to my appointment on time and hoping a curious cop wouldn’t find me and pull me over.Β 

I finally ended up doing a huge circle, on and off the highway, and got back to where I started. My GPS then repeated the same directions that got me into my predicament in the first place

“Take a left at Sesame Street,” Google chirped from my phone. “Sunny days. Everything is, A-Okay!..”🎢

“SHUT UP, GOOGLE!!!”

Let’s just say, my GPS and I are not talking at the moment.

Continue reading “Author: How Are You & New job Storytime (Humor)πŸš—πŸ§­”

Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Christianity: My Journey & Thoughts, YouTube Shares

Author: Saying “Bye” and New Adventures πŸ§­

In my personal life, I am starting a new chapter. I am beginning a new job next month after some much needed rest and some self care. It’s quite a change in the grand scheme of things for this little millennial girl, but I am up for the challenge and adventure. I go with God; I go with grace. He is walking with me.

My word of the year isΒ fortitude. I’ve been carrying it around with me, next to my mint tea bags, Pokeballs and chapstick. It’s been difficult saying goodbye to people at work. But I’m remembering I’m saying hello to others.

I included a few songs that have been sticking with me lately. The first video has an epilepsy warning at the beginning so please enjoy the other two if that’s you.

And just to be clear, I’m still writing and doing this blog. Happy writing! 😊✏️

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: Retail Therapy (25 Books on Clearance/Sale)πŸ“šπŸ“š

Oh, the clearance sections of used book stores are certainly magical places. I’ve found many an excellent story hidden among the stacks of forgotten lore. There was even a sale today on top of the clearance prices. Oh, joy. Oh, rapture.

And in case anyone’s counting, one book (Building Blocks) was hidden accidentally when I took the photo. Happy reading.

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