Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: The VERY Weird Week of Weeks 🏳️

I can’t share everything, but let’s just dive into the deep end, shall we? Don’t run off now…We’re just getting started!

  • I nearly got knocked out (and I mean one-two, you’re out!) by my dog (accidentally). She was excited to see me and she was excited for her dinner–all at the same time. It was too much happiness for her to contain and process. Silly me, I knelt down to pet her and she knocked her skull against my lower jaw–hard–in her sheer and utter ecstasy. Now I know what a boxer must feel like. 🥊
  • I made a lady mad at me for my chip not working in my debit card at her register, even though their new machines weren’t working right. That was pleasant, along with her begging me (her hands were pressed together like she was praying) to look into my card’s issues. Ahem. Usually a machine will have you swipe after awhile if it can’t read your chip and all is well. Oh, no. Let’s give the blue screen of death instead and blame the customer. Cheers.
  • I got to watch someone take their driver’s test in the parking garage the other day. I’m only half kidding. I watched as someone backed up a few times in front of three waiting cars to wiggle the butt of their car into position. And then, by golly, they went for it! They went into reverse (yes, reverse; did I stutter?) into an angled parking space. I promise you, if you keep going up there are indeed more magical rectangle spaces for your fine steed. Come with me if you want to park!
  • I received a slightly panicked phonecall requesting immediate assistance, along with a half hearted warning that I may not want to come after all. That was fun. Yes, yes: everyone calm down. I’m on the case. I think.
  • My key kept getting stuck in my car’s ignition. After awhile, I think my car was trying to tell me something: “Don’t go out there, mother. It’s not worth it!” How right he is.

How about you, how was your week? Leave a thought below and hit that follow button if you want to join this crazy thing called Peregrine Arc. Ker-kaw and sakes alive, she even writes books! ✏️

Cheers.

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: Overheard in the Peregrine Household (Quick Humor) 🤭

The joys of stomach viruses, folks. Enjoy. ✏️

The Saint: “But I wanted to finish painting my room tomorrow…”

Me: “Do you think it’s a good idea to be in a room with the windows open in December when you’re sick? I don’t want you running to the bathroom like it’s your last life in Mario either.”

Ba dum, cchsssh. 🥁

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: Happy Thanksgiving & Thank You 🦃✏️

A belated Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and a brief note of thanks. I’m very thankful to all the writers I’ve met on here and continue to get to know. We’re all on our journeys and it’s nice to see the encouragement and support we give each other in our little corners of the internet.

Thank you as well to my followers and to those who have read my scribbles, whether on here or in my book. I hope you’ll continue to share your scribbles, too. If you want to become part of the Arcian crew, just hit that follow button; we’ll be glad to have you.

So write on and enjoy your Thanksgiving leftovers. Pass the cranberries, wouldn’t you? Kia kaha!

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: ‘Memory Bound’ Book Birthday📖👻

Happy one year (belated) birthday to my first self-published novel, Memory Bound. It’s currently holding at three, five star perfect reviews. Won’t you give it a read and meet Anne? Details are below. 🥳

GOTD (placeholder for my second novel) is in the works and is another horror novel. Subscribe to stay updated for details and become part of the Arcian crew.

Cheers!

Memory Bound is available through Amazon both as a hard print and also as an ebook. If you have Kindle Unlimited, the novel is free (currently) through that service as well.

Memory Bound is my first published novel, published through my own platform–Peregrine Arc. It’s a horror novel with lots of layers, walks through the woods and thoughts on society. If you give it a read, I’d love to hear your thoughts below or in a review on Amazon. Thank you.

Back of Book:

There was something about a grand neglected house that didn’t bode well for visitors. It wanted retribution for its fall…

Anne Ditchfield is a woman of sound mind and morals, living a life warped by schizophrenia and fatigued by modern life drudgery and routines of survival. As an early retirement gift, Anne buys Myron-a historical mansion she plans to renovate as she continues her healing journey. Notices of a missing, local girl arrive soon after and Anne finds herself visited by police officers, roped into investigations and targeted by those claiming to still serve the Myron family. Will Anne be able to determine reality from fiction and figure out who is threatening her life? Or will Myron be taken away and Anne’s life with it? Memory Bound is a multi-dimensional, horror novel mixed with just the right amount of mystery to keep readers long entranced and wondering after the final, closing paragraph.

 

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: October Cycling & Writing Goals 🚴‍♀️ (Heaven Help Me)

Well, Arcians, I’m stepping out onto the proverbial literary edge here. I have a fitness goal for October: bicycle every day in the month for a minimum of 30 minutes.  That’s right, 31 days x 30 min = around 15.5 hours of my tush on the cush. I’m ready…I think.

Writing goals: write at least one solid chapter of my novel, GOTD. I’ve been really struggling with writing; ever since my laptop went kaput, my motivation and confidence seemed to go along with it. My protagonist has literally been stuck inside his burning house for about four months now and is glaring at me, vehemently, from offstage. I can’t say I blame him. The chapter is like watching a Roomba try to vacuum an octagonal room: we’re going to be here for awhile.

What are your goals for October? Want to join me on the fitness journey? Leave a comment below and we can drag each other over the finish line. I’ll even have Mr. Swinebotttom do an uplifting cheer. It’ll be great fun.

Oh, P.S. This has happened to me, twice (see below image). This tells me I’m  doing this cycling thing really great, or really badly. Yes, that’s a broken pedal. And yes, I didn’t think it was possible either. I pedaled the pedal off, if you will. Straight off. Twice. Lock your doors at night; I’m a mad woman. 🚴‍♀️

Ker-kaw!

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Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: “The Case of the Missing Money” (Humor)🕵️‍♀️

We were walking down the street of an affluent neighborhood, having just gotten our Starbucks to keep our peepers open for the evening beat: a PSL for the Saint and a hot mint tea for me. It was the type of joint where people didn’t lock their bicycles in front of the stores and the want ads of the local newsletter sold comfort, security and false promises of legacy to the aging population.

My partner and I were passing the neighboring ice cream store when my eyes landed upon a wad of cash laying on the sidewalk. I picked it up, counted it: a ten and a one. No money clip. Hmm, not much cash for the folks running around here. We considered turning it in to the ice cream shop’s lost and found when we spotted a group of young girls gaggling together, about 30 feet away as the crow flies.

Continue reading “Author: “The Case of the Missing Money” (Humor)🕵️‍♀️”

Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Introversion/INTJ

Author: Exercise for Happy Introverts 🚲🍁☺️ (Bike/iFit/Humor)

I’ve found I like doing most activities either alone or with my spouse, the Saint.* Being around people tends to drain my batteries quickly, with some exceptions. I’ve found many people like to peck at introverts and want to draw them out of their “shells” like some over eager mother robin. They ask intruding questions and wish to know everything about you within ten minutes of meeting. (This is why dungeons were created: to throw people like this into them.) Then they flit onto the next person, never to see you again until next year’s holiday function to re-live the level of Hell all over again. Hooray.

We introverts needs to take care of ourselves against the legions of rude, energy vampires that flit along us. I’ve found an exercise I really enjoy and wanted to share it with fellow birds of the flock. So get your groove together and let’s crack on!

Continue reading “Author: Exercise for Happy Introverts 🚲🍁☺️ (Bike/iFit/Humor)”

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: A Sunday in Pictures & Vegan Yummies 👩‍🍳

Painting pumpkins, eating vegan butternut squash macaroni and cheese and vegan chocolate chip brownies. This was a nice Sunday. 

And yes, I put too many chocolate chips into the brownies. I regret nothing. 🍫

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Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: Peregrine Arc Celebrates 200 Subscribers 📖 (20% off my Book!)

We started in March 2018. We published Memory Bound in October 2018. Mr. Swinebottom came on the scene in December 2018 for Blogmas and kept us in tears of mirth and joy. Over 250 blogs later, here we fly.

What comes next? You’ll need to click on that follow button to join the Arcian family and find out. 🙂

Oh yes. In celebration, Memory Bound is 20% off, in soft cover, for the month of August.  Click here to order your copy today and leave me a review on Amazon, wouldn’t you?

Ker-kaw! 🦉

Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Short Stories & Poetry

Author: A Time of Kerfluffles (Bad Poetry / Humorous Happenings) 🌠

Based on true events….

A Time of Kerfluffles

Two weeks ago, my eyeglasses broke. The pin popped out and the tech’s head just shook. “Too bad, you’re out of luck; you’re a blind, little bat now you idle schmuck. And don’t stumble on the welcome mat on the way out, you putz!”

My finger, shortly thereafter, broke in two; would I ever lie to you? Oh well, it’s just a strain, but I do have people sign my little splint just the same.

And then last Tuesday, I recall still yet with dread: I stepped on a rusty nail head! No scratches, no impailments, no ER trips or sky rocket payments. Tetanus shot is up to date and my guardian angel is going on vacation, post haste.

And then yesterday, or was it two days ago hence? I broke my car’s side mirror, to my garage’s horror and my proceeding recompense. Seven years of bad luck is mine from parking a smidgen too close inside.

No worries and have no fear. Because, even if this superstition is true, it’ll be over so very soon. At my current rate, I’ll be free of this bad luck around, well…let’s calculate and see. Why the year six thousand, four hundred and ninety three!