Before I tell you this story, to quote the comedian Mike Birbiglia: “Remember, you’re on my side.”
Moments ago, the saint and I realized we didn’t pay our grocery bill yesterday evening at checkout. We were going over our budget, and he was checking our online account. Our account didn’t show the grocery store transaction. The conversation went something like this:
The Saint: “I was bagging. I thought you paid.”
Me: “No, I was scanning and gave the worker the coupons. I thought you paid.”
“……….I know I didn’t pay.”
(More silence. Possibly some eye moisture welling in the tear ducts).
Me: “I’m going to jail, aren’t I?”
The saint called the store and explained the situation and apologized. They seemed confused (possibly amused?). They responded with something like “We don’t show any open receipts on our end. Call this number if the transaction doesn’t show up in your account in a few days. Best of luck, you Millennial weirdos.”
I’m sure the story is sweeping the produce aisles and is all the way back to dairy by now. Either way, we’ll be paying the store.*
Now remember, you’re on my side. Got it? Good. Grocery shopping during the pandemic has been the opposite of a serene, beachside resort this past month, and yesterday was no exception. The store was busy, hardly anyone was wearing masks and people seemed to be over (read that like Cher from Clueless) the social distancing thing. This led to frazzled us trying to get in, get our food and get out.
We just forgot to pay this time.
Excuse me now while I go hunt for my Monopoly “Get out of Jail Free” cards…
*April 26, 2020 update: we went to the store today and talked to management. They were able to find the missing payment this time (hooray!) and we paid the store back. 🥳