Contest Entries

Terrible Love Poem Entry: Ode to my Hanky

Go to Chelsea’s pageย to have a crack at this week’s poetry contest. You’ll laugh yourself silly. Just silly. My entry is below.

It’s so terrible, I forgot to save the text. Perhaps my phone was just too much in pain from the experience. Alas, I do have a screenshot.

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Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

The Smite of February: Indie Author & Mr. Swinebottom

January 2019 has come and gone. February is here, smirking at my door step, holding up my list of to do’s and goals. The paper has a bit of rice stuck on the edges, along with some makeup smudges and wrinkles. January is standing behind her, bedraggled, dressed in a suit and talking into a cell phone. A candy cane is hanging from his left ear and a bit of New Year’s confetti is still in his bangs. An Uber pulls up and away he goes until next year.

“Say, author,” February asks, still holding the list and standing on my front porch in stilletos. “When are you going to edit your short story your editor got back to you about, oh…six weeks ago? And isn’t your writing room done yet? And when exactly are you going to get on your exercise schedule, huh?”

She bats her eyelashes and tosses back a red curl. I’m debating between a good old fashioned door slam or a Tae Kwon Do front kick while she continues her babbling.

“This list isn’t going to complete itself you know. Chip, chop. And when’s the last time you actually did some cardio? Looking a little pudgy, aren’t we…?”

It’s times like these when I call upon my trusty sidekick. Some may call it self confidence. Others may say it’s healthy boundary setting and self esteem.

I call mine…Mr. Swinebottom.

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Contests Held

Creativity Contest: The Mysterious Love Letters (Closed)

EqaLast week you were told you were a thief, attempting to crack open a safe. Motive, scene and setting were yours to create. But the twist was you actually never get any of the contents of the safe, whatever you imagined them to be. But why? How? What happened? Well, take a gander in the commentsย of that entry and you’ll see why. Creativity abounds! ๐Ÿ˜‰

For this week’s prompt, we’re tipping our caps to Valentine’s Day, but with our usual twist at Peregrine Arc.

You are a business professional, an entrepreneur, who just purchased a very old, abandoned hotel. You have big plans to renovate this hotel back to its former glory and you’re doing what work you can solo to save money.ย  In the middle of cleaning one morning, you find a stack of undelivered letters in the cubby holes behind the front desk. They’re brittle, addressed in cursive and…you can hear whispers coming from the paper. Or at least you think you do. And unlike the rest of the hotel, the envelopes are clean. No dust has settled on them and you strongly suspect they’re love letters by the red ribbon tied delicately around them. Okay, writers. Show us: what exactly do you do?

The rules are below. No winners/losers, per usual. I’m really curious to see the directions you’ll take with this. Pass the disinfectant, wouldn’t you?

While you’re here, hit that subscribe button and stick around for awhile. We’d love to have you at Peregrine Arc. ๐Ÿฆ‰๐Ÿ’Œ

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Contests Held

Creativity Contest: The Sealed Safe (Closed)

Last week you received a mysterious letter about a dinner guest arriving at six. The guest was yours to invent, along with building the anticipation and laying out the setting. The results were pretty humorous with some unique timing and guests who showed up at the end. I appreciate everyone participating and encourage you to take a look at other’s takes you can find in the entries’ comments. Together, we can spread the joy of writing and dig in the garden of imagination. ๐ŸŒท

For this week’s prompt, I want you to imagine you are a thief. Whatever motive you have, good, bad, or both, is up to you. Whatever setting and condition the safe is in is also up to you. It could be underwater, in a mine, in a delapidated mansion…Take the wheel of literature and drive us there!

But here’s the twist: you don’t get what’s inside the safe. Do you crack it and the contents are missing? Or do you lose your nerve and get caught? Ponderings. Take it and fly and add a psychological twist for $1000, Alex.

The rules are below. No winners/losers, per usual. We all just want to see your spin on this one. Pass the crowbar, would you?

While you’re here, hit that subscribe button and stick around for awhile. We’d love to have you at Peregrine Arc. ๐Ÿฆ‰

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Contests Held

Creativity Contest: The Mysterious Dinner Guest (Closed)

Last week we came across a Treasure Chest and you guys delivered. Please check out in the comments below that entry to see some pretty creative takes on treasure chests in all sorts of backdrops of life. I’m thrilled and honored to get a glimpse into other people’s imaginations and what direction they take with a few words and parameters.

For this week’s prompt, I want you to imagine you received a mysterious letter in the mail asking to prepare an elegant dinner for an unnamed guest. The letter has no return address, but is written on thick paper with one of those wax, emblem seals. The guest is to arrive sharply at six o’clock. Like with last week, the scene and setting are yours. Build up some anticipation, but eventually you need to let your readers know who arrived for dinner and why. Take this and fly, fellow writers. ๐Ÿ˜Šโœ๏ธ

The rules are below. No winners/losers again this week. We’re focusing on delving into our imaginations and seeing what’s behind that dinner table vase in the next room.

While you’re here, hit subscribe and stick around for awhile. We’d love to have you at Peregrine Arc.

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Contests Held

Creativity Contest: We’re Going Treasure Hunting (Closed)

I’m experimenting with these contest things, trying to think of ways to get creativity flowing, imaginations growing and neurotransmitter reward paths triggered. Er, I mean, I want you to have fun. Right? Right!

So this week, I want you to imagine you come across a treasure chest. The setting and circumstances are yours to invent. But you need to tell the reader what’s inside…eventually. Build up a little intensity; spice it with anticipation or season with mystery. Do your thing and we’ll read it. We’re looking forward to what the treasure chest reveals for you.

The rules are below. No winners/losers this week; we’re just swimming in the sea of creativity. Pass the conch shell, would you? I need to sharpen my pencil.

While you’re here, hit subscribe and stick around for awhile. We’d love to have you.

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Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Indie Author Tales: Humor Heard Around the House

Author: “I don’t like being around actors, musicians, anybody on a stage. They’re wonderful, yes, but don’t talk to me, look at me or touch me.”

Saint: “Yes. Don’t break that fourth wall.”

Author: “Yes! Exactly. Well put. Don’t break that barrier between you and me.”

Saint: “You can say, and if you break the fourth wall, my fist will break through it, too.”

Author: “…”

Contests Held

The “Crazy Caption Contest”: Week 2 (Closed)

Week one of the Terrible Caption Contest went great! With a scurry, a sprint and a darting glance over our shoulder, here’s week two!

The winner of the most laughs will be chosen by me and the saint. Ties will be decided by the Labrador.ย  The winner will be announced Saturday Jan. 19th and awarded the gift of humor. In other words, you’ll be recognized as the winning entry on my blog and you’ll have made people laugh. How great is that?

The rules and photo are below.

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Contests Held

Introducing: The “Crazy Caption Contest” (Closed)

We’re going to start off 2019 with a bang on Peregrine Arc! I’m going to include a photo below and you’ll post in the comments something humorous and divine about what in the world you think is going on.ย  Put your Alice in Wonderland dress on now, because we’ll be tumbling down some rabbit holes yet…

The winner of the most chuckles will be chosen by me and the saint. Ties will be decided by the Labrador.ย  The winner will be announced Saturday Jan. 12th and awarded the gift of humor. In other words, you’ll be recognized as the winning entry on my blog and you’ll have made people laugh. How great is that?

The rules and photo are below.

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Blogmas 2018, Christianity: My Journey & Thoughts

Blogmas Day 25: What Christmas is All About, Charlie Brown (Humor | Indie Author)

Hello and welcome to Day 25 of Blogmas 2018. We’ve made it! To celebrate, I’m sharing a favorite clip from one of my favorite Christmas movies. Linus, after all, says it best.

We’ll be taking a break from the blog for a little bit to recuperate. But while you’re here, click that subscribe button to help us get to 100 Arcians before the New Year. Say it with me: ker-kaw, kew-kaw!

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