Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: “Away with You, Mortal” (YT Humor Share)

I’ve been dealing with a particular breed of salespeople lately–Class D: Door to Door Solicitors. In America, they waltz right up to your door, knock loudly and ring doorbells. Their actions promptly wake up sleeping babies as they ignore posted warning signs and they release the hounds of doom to begin barking. They sell everything from politics, religion (I say this as a Christian) to tree cutting services. I understand people need to work, and we treat them with decency and polite firmness, but I don’t find this practice a good business model or even very polite.

The Saint and I recently bought two new No Solicitors signs from Etsy, as our old sign broke. We are putting these up in hopes to deter stealthy agents of capitalism. I’m also considering a moat with alligators and some zombie signs.

One day, though, I may just enact the following plan, as enacted in the beautiful video below. Who’s with me?

 

Contest Entries

Terrible Poetry Contest Winner: Oi’, Summah!

Lightning has hit twice. I have won the Terrible Poetry Contest for the second glorious time. And everyone rejoiced and roasted Oxford commas over cozy bonfires.

Want to join in on the terribleness? The new contest opens tomorrow. Check out Chelsea’s page for details.

Crack on.

Continue reading “Terrible Poetry Contest Winner: Oi’, Summah!”

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: If Tomorrow Wasn’t Friday (A Terrible Reading)

If tomorrow wasn’t Friday, I’d become guilty of voluntary manslaughter.

If tomorrow wasn’t Friday, I’d be streaking up and down the hallways of my work building, laughing like a maniac, passing out killer bees like party favors and tripping people with phonetically placed vowels.

If tomorrow wasn’t Friday, I’d be sharpening wooden pencils and dipping them in Poison Arrow Frog toxins. People would Croak. 🐸

If tomorrow wasn’t that glorious day, I’d make a life-size paper airplane and fly away. So long, suckers!

If tomorrow wasn’t the Fri-to-the-day, I’d find myself beating my head against the computer screen. More work would get done that way than waiting for Susie and Pete to give me excuse #11-80-and-3.

If tomorrow wasn’t the weekend, well, I just wouldn’t be pleased.

Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Labrador Lessons

Author: Method #491 of Calming the Labrador (Sing Elvis)

Our dog (who, by chance, is the inspiration for a character in my book) greatly dislikes thunderstorms. It could be just heat lightning; it could be only remnants of thunder. If it’s both, it’s all over. Let the shaking, pacing, panting and anxiety begin.

Thundercoats only take the edge off for the Labrador; treats and toys are but momentary distractions. One boom-boom and we’re off to bury ourselves behind the couch cushions.

But recently, I had a breakthrough. And it’s Elvis. I began to sing “Can’t Help Falling in Love With You” to the Lab, and then played the song while singing. After about fifteen renditions, I had a calm dog ready to go sleep. The storm was also done by then, but the singing helped her to stay by me during the storm. Instead of pacing, she sat by me and eventually laid down. Her panting and anxiety decreased, too. I call that a win.

So here you go. Let me know if this works for you the next time your animal kingdom companion builds up anxiety. The king would be proud. 🎤

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: May Review & Memorial Day Weekend

May was a beast. She raked her claws into me, shredded my pink unicorn blouse and left me to whistle showtunes whilst I ate vegan gummy bears and hugged my stuffed velociraptor. But I survived. By hook and by crook, and a well aimed dagger or two, I survived.

Continue reading “Author: May Review & Memorial Day Weekend”

Awards

Author: Versatile Blogger Award

Thanks again, Steve and Muffin! In the hurry and scurry of life lately, I missed this, so thanks for the direction!

Here are the rules for this award:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you.
  2. Link to the blog of the person who nominated you.
  3. State 7 facts about yourself.
  4. Nominate other bloggers who bring joy into your daily life.

Continue reading “Author: Versatile Blogger Award”

Contest Entries, Short Stories & Poetry

Author: Terrible Poetry Contest Entry

This week’s Terrible Poetry Contest is over at Chelsea’s page. Give it a read, give it a whirl, chuckle and snuffle until the words all swirl.

This week’s theme is losing something dear to you. I was daring and wrote about losing my patience.

Continue reading “Author: Terrible Poetry Contest Entry”

Arcian Recipes, Introductory

Vegan Author: Writing Fuel Recipe

Hello, Arcians. Need some fuel to write Chapter 29? Look no further. Here’s something I put together with some inspiration from Cheap Lazy Vegan. Rose made a recipe similar to this and I took it and flew.

I call it: lunch.

Continue reading “Vegan Author: Writing Fuel Recipe”

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: Overheard at the Peregrine Household (Humor)

This is Mr. Swinebottom and I’ve been visiting the Peregrine Household lately, helping with chores and giving encouragement and motivation

During my visits, I’ve been taking notes of humorous anecdotes I thought I’d share with my fellow Arcians. Sit back and enjoy my following reading…

Continue reading “Author: Overheard at the Peregrine Household (Humor)”