Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: My Summary of Crocheting (Humor) 🧶

I watched a couple tutorials about crocheting today. Another skill I could perhaps learn and make useful things using yarn. I don’t know what I was thinking.

I tried to learn how to knit once. The knitting needles were flung into the nearest wall in a fit of rage and ire, the likes of which has never been seen again. People who visited thought I had a porcupine living in my walls. No, no. It was just a visual reminder I kept to remember the evil that was and to never return to again. Ever.

The saint (my spouse) can knit and sew a bit, and quite well; he enjoys it. He’s been collecting quite a stash of yarn for his projects. He’s a patient teacher but I would rather do anything else, short of murder, than knit.

Here’s my summary of the evil that is crocheting. And remember now, this is humor.

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“Yarn over… Yarn over… This here is a chain. It becomes a prison of crocheting. Yarn over some more… Now we’re going to do something very simple, you peons, so please do try to keep up this time. We’re going to do a triple, double, ventriloquist, three quarter backflip, in Chinese. Now take the third loop, feed through, you should have six loops now… If you don’t, all hope is lost and you have failed miserably. If you’re still with me, cast off a fish and off we go…!”

Ain’t life grand? No wonder cats attack balls of yarn. They were trying to save us all this time…Thanks, Fluffy. 🐱

Writing: I've Got Gadgets and Gizmos a Plenty...

Author: Vintage Brooch, Postcards (New Interests)

I’ve been trying new ventures lately–everything from listening to jazz music to trying to teach myself skills like sewing (pray for me). One of the most recent interests I’ve developed is one in vintage fashion and keepsakes. I picked up a couple of items today at a vintage & antique store the saint and I visited for the first time (photo below).

Here’s a beautiful postcard (please forgive the bad lighting) that I may begin using as an end or starter card for my Author YouTube channel. In the upper right, I purchased my first vintage brooch. It has a lovely leaf design with a curled tip and is inlaid with (faux) pearls. It’s like a Hobbit going to a gala, am I right?

I sometimes feel I’m intruding into someone’s privacy when I read messages written on the backs of postcards. Here in pencil or pen, love is being freely given between people who are strangers to me; inquiries are made on another person’s safety and health. Everything is written in that eloquent cursive that I love so much. Oftentimes, the postcards are signed with older sounding names: Arthur, Edna, Beatrice, etc. (I made those up as examples, but you get my meaning). It makes you wonder: what happened to these people? Did their trip go well? How did they live? Where did they go afterwards? What did they struggle with in life? What were their wishes and dreams they thought about at night before drifting off to sleep?

As a writer, this can be a bit like lighting a match inside your imagination. Lots of ideas fly around and you can just sit in Wonderland and breathe in the air. The human story; endless possibilities.

Hope everyone is doing well. How’s your writing going? Cheers.

Introductory

Updates on the Journey

Hello and welcome to Peregrine Arc, a Horror Author’s Scratchwork. I published my first novel, Memory Bound, in October 2018. I’m currently working on my second horror novel, GOTD.* Both books feature female protagonists struggling to survive in worlds where uninvited guests come just a bit too close for comfort…

I’m also starting an Author YouTube Channel. Here you’ll find me talking about my writing, literature, and dabbling in some arts & crafts. This page is in development, but I’ll be sure to post updates here when I get the steamworks up and running. Won’t you join us?

All opinions, mistakes and spiderwebs are my own here. Pass the ink blotter, would you? And do watch your step over the landing. Last chap didn’t quite make it out, poor thing…

*I only give my novels’ names in acronyms, until they’re published. Memory Bound, for example, was MB.

Quick humor

Poison Ivy & Gumby Toys |(Humor)

I woke up this morning looking like Quasimodo returning from a rave. As I beheld my pajamaed self in our bedroom mirror, holding my medical license I cut from the back of a cereal box, I could see that the right side of my face was swollen. My right eye looked a bit smaller than my left eye, and my arms looked like miniature chickens had a party on them all night. They had kicked up their feet in a frenzied barnyard dance, most extreme, leaving scratches and red bumps galore. I had not slept well. I scratched my neck absently. Wait, the chickens had been there, too?

Boop. Beep. Boop. Ga-hoogah.

“Dear saintly husband,” I texted, who had already left for work. “Me thinks I have a most severe, but not the severest ever (according to an illuminating, but slightly disturbing Google image search) poison ivy reaction. Please send puppies. And sympathy, if I’m ever to be so honest.”

Please scroll down to find ‘Page 2’ to continue reading.

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Entropy & Hysterical Chuckles (Humor | Return from Summer) 👍

Our fridge broke the other week. I, being the ever so stubborn persistent person that I am, researched on YouTube and Google and did all the “common issue” maintenance I safely could, Han Solo. I thought I fixed it, but alas. Our purchased thermometers confirmed: the temperature did not stay consistent in neither the freezer nor the fridge areas. Food poisoning was lurking out in our hallway, robed in her purple velvet cloak, snickering and smirking while smelling of rancid milk. I threw an aluminum air freshener can at her.

Out, we threw all our perishable food items away. Out went my beloved hummus, Tamari, pickles and the beautiful gift of Mexico: salsa. Oh, my wounded fajita.

I kicked Food Poisoning outside into a rose bush. She’s still out there, glowering and sulking, darting me nasty looks and stale crackers with old sardines.

And stay out!!!” I thundered at Food Poisoning, while making my editor wince at my choices in punctuation.

I closed my curtains and proceed onto writing Part II of my manuscript in progress. Progress and somethings.

Then we called in a refrigerator professional…A PhD in Refrigeratology. He did his thesis on the thermodynamics of frozen strawberry ice cream. 🍓

Continue reading “Entropy & Hysterical Chuckles (Humor | Return from Summer) 👍”

Contests Held

Author: Music Writing Prompt (Week II: Chlorine)💦

Music meets writing prompt. Writing prompt means practice. Practice equals shiny literary awards on your next book cover and access to free taco bars inbetween interviews asking about your literary genius. Yum.

Join in, folks. Tacos for all.🌮

And special shout out to Chelsea for participating in last week’s prompt featuring David Bowie’s, “Heroes.” She’ll be taking a summer sabbatical soon, but check out her blogs for some great reads. 🥳

Continue reading “Author: Music Writing Prompt (Week II: Chlorine)💦”

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: “The Pan-Dammit” Pandemic (Snarky Humor)🤦🌴

I lost my cherub-like demeanor today. It crept up slowly. I went to one of my favorite bookstores/nerdy stores today. I had been looking forward to it all day, as they recently reopened (partially). Shortly upon entering, I was told “May I help you find anything? We’re closing in ten minutes.” I smiled politely (pointless behind my mask) and said “No thank you” and proceeded to find the saint to leave. Then another worker came up to me:

“WE’RE CLOSING IN FIVE MINUTES. GET YOUR CRAP AND GET OUT, YOU LITTLE PUNK!!”

Ahem. I exaggerate a little, but that’s how the message filtered into my brain. Sniff.

Continue reading “Author: “The Pan-Dammit” Pandemic (Snarky Humor)🤦🌴”

Exercise Challenges, Ponderings

Author: My New Bike & Hitting 600 miles🥑🌱

I got a new bike about a month ago. Every time I get on, I feel I’m mounting a horse. It’s the same feeling, the same swoosh of your legs, getting your balance and buckling in for adventure. But honest to Schwinn, this thing is a beast. And apparently I hit 600 miles  today, since I started biking. That’s a win, my friend. 🥳

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I’m also trying to grow a couple a couple of avocado plants, a la Bruce Willis’ character from Red. I’m also attempting a small pot of Chinese Forget-Me-Not flowers. They’ll keep me company as I continue my writing goal of 2500 words a week on my current book in progress.

Stay healthy and active, everyone. Kerkaw! 🦉

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Christianity: My Journey & Thoughts, Exercise Challenges, Ponderings

Author: “Living on the Edge” Growth & Self-Reflection 🚴‍♀️ ✝️(iFit)

My iFit trainer for this month’s Argentina bicycling challenge (Nicole Meline) has been introducing the idea of finding your edge. This is finding the area in your life where you are “sustainably uncomfortable” and where personal growth begins to happen. Let those words sink in for a moment. They’re quite the odd pair to juxtapose, aren’t they?

Continue reading “Author: “Living on the Edge” Growth & Self-Reflection 🚴‍♀️ ✝️(iFit)”