Tag: self-care

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

The Holiday Season, December’s Perspective & Writing

Peregrine Arc: An Author's Scratchwork

December came up to my doorstep without invitation, just the other week. I wasn’t quite finished speaking to November yet, but she had left before I knew it. She walked down my driveway and around the corner, not to be seen for another twelve months. November is quite nice–have you met her? She likes to come over towards the end of every year, in her green corduroy suspenders and maroon turtleneck, her hair tied up in a velvet scrunchie, and share a cup of tea. We like talking about deeper subjects, such as gratitude, the qualities of the best french fry, and the finer details of Autumn’s leaves and dying foliage. Beauty in a time capsule, set soon to break. November’s often overshadowed by her other, more well known siblings–October and December. The one month is all about candy, costumes and ghosts, and the other–well, that depends, I’ve found.

December can be a profound month. It’s the ending of another year, and depending on your faith, a time for celebrating deep mysteries with awe and humility. This year I am using it more intentionally, as a month for reflection, dreaming, and finishing projects at a slower and more focused pace. I am doing my best to ignore the constant marketing ads–ones telling me to buy more, want more, and to chase after false promises of peace or joy. I am not perfect at this, but I’ve learned over the years that when December comes up to my doorstep, I take away all his bright flashy lights and neon signs, say no to the unrealistic expectations, and take all the junk mail out of his hands filled with stock footage of happy, perfect families that are actually paid models in coordinated outfits. December and I instead decorate together, do a few slower-paced traditions my husband and I have created over the years, and try to finish up any shopping early. I’ve found this approach much more peaceful and feasible. Resting is an art I am trying to relearn. Refocusing without distractions, another.

Writing wise, I have a story idea bubbling around in my mind, something I am beginning to write ideas down for. I am dreaming of creatures while on walks with my dog and husband, thinking of funny jokes and characters, chapter plots, and also those serious moments of life that makes us all-too human and connected with one another, even with our differences. I hope to start getting this all into coherent writing soon–with God’s grace, and many cups of hot cocoa. Yum.

How are you spending your December? Are you hoping for twenty feet of snow, like I am, or maybe just a few minutes of peace, stretched to hours with a good book and some cocoa?

I hope your December is filled with good meals, and simpler moments of lasting joy and treasured peace. And if you’re at the family dinner table, and Uncle Bernie brings up politics, or Aunt Sally gives you her unsolicited advice yet again–remember that dinner rolls can also be used as projectile weapons. Especially when filled with mashed potatoes and gravy. Merry Christmas and happy writing adventures.

Ponderings

Surviving a Toxic Workplace: Five Thoughtful Tips (Get Out)

Peregrine Arc: An Author's Scratchwork

I’ve worked in a variety of settings over my career. Some of them have been toxic from day one; some slowly spoiled over time like a carton of milk, forgotten at the back of the fridge. No job is perfect , but when your work starts affecting your physical health, gives you severe anxiety, and makes you think of taking a sick day every morning when the alarm goes off–it may be time to move on.

Here are just a few of the strategies I’ve used that have helped me in previous jobs. Best of luck to you in your journey.

  1. Create your escape plan. I borrowed this from a YouTube video (or several) I watched years ago when I was stuck in an unhealthy work environment. Their advice was similar–make a plan to get out. Whether it’s through building up your savings, applying to jobs after work, taking night classes, putting in a request for a transfer…Sit down and put it together. A boat without wind or direction is just sitting in place. Accept that it may take time, but the earlier you start, the earlier you’ll get out.
  2. Create a good night routine. Anxiety can bubble up at night big time when you dread going into work the next day. You can replay stories in your mind, dwell on mistakes you made, or just build up work tasks into bigger monsters than they are.
    Consider bringing items into your bedroom that help you relax and bring you comfort, like soft blankets, soft lighting, or a good book to read. These will be ways to relax your mind and get a good night’s sleep. There are also many YouTube videos online for free with relaxing, sleep time or soothing music. Warm baths, exercise, and hot cups of tea are also other, low cost ways to relax. Journaling, prayer, and stretching are others.
  3. Eat the Frog. This is a funny saying, not to be taken literally. When you do get to work, try this approach. Eat the frog is a way of saying do the hardest thing first on your task list. Getting it out of the way can relieve some of the pressure you’ve built up and give you more brain space to focus on smaller tasks.
  4. Do What You Can; Don’t Stress Over What You Can’t Control. You’re leaving. You’re not going to be here forever. The building did not catch on fire and crumble to ash before you started working there; it won’t fall apart as you leave, most likely. And besides, the last time you checked, miracle worker was not on your resume. Do what you can to the best of your ability, be transparent about your work to whom you report to, and then clock out. You’re not here to burn bridges, you’re just looking to cross them and take care of yourself. If the rest of your coworkers can’t see the Emperor’s New Clothes for what they are and want to swim in toxicity, it’s their problem, not yours.
  5. Focus & Refocus: While at work, focus on your work. Get your tasks done; leave it at your desk and go home. Recharge, rejuvenate, re-be-you. Your job does not define your worth as a human being; it never has, and it never will. Refocus on what is important to you. Think of ways, or future jobs, that can better meet your values while still paying your bills and supporting your future goals. This will help you find your next job, or step, in life.

Cheers and take care.