Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Indie Author Humor: Magical Roads

There is a road, or several really, that I pass on my daily commute. At certain times, the rules the rest of us peons follow whilst driving on these roads become obsolete. I watch as people run red lights at 40 mph+. I observe as drivers turn left from what I would have sworn was a straight only lane. I’ve experienced people doing U-turns only to then go straight on red. I was nearly t-boned during such an instance as I proceeded to turn left on a green light when traffic was clear. Silly me.

Obviously I didn’t realize something: the rules don’t apply to everyone. There are clearly bubbles of time, very quick pockets, where other people’s schedules and lives become more important than mine. I hope one day to understand this so I may wish them merry driving the wrong way down one way streets. Would I be so lucky to carry a broom in my trunk to clean the roads before their procession. Maybe I can even wash their cars, should ever an opportunity befall me. That would be such unwarranted bliss…

Forgive me, aggressive drivers for getting in your way. Please excuse me for slowing down in a school zone where kids walk to school. I don’t know what I was thinking. Oh and I do apologise for not going 90 on the highway so your sports car can feel the speed. I would politely suggest a basic lesson in physics, but I wouldn’t dream of wasting your time with that pesky thing called reality.

So, please. After you.

12 thoughts on “Indie Author Humor: Magical Roads”

  1. I loved this post. Aggressive, arrogant, irresponsible drivers . . . ugh! . . . are a huge pet peeve for me and, like you, I see it every morning and every afternoon. Some of the most reckless and dangerous behavior and . . . ugh! For years I let drivers like this bother me and I don’t know how it happened or remember exactly when it happened, but I realized that I didn’t need to let those other drivers be another source of anxiety for me and when I remember that it helps me to, not excuse them, but cope with them. So while I still get angry when I get passed on the right shoulder during a snowstorm because I’m stupid enough to lower my speed for the conditions I use that anger to help me remember to slow down and breath.

    1. Yes. It’s definitely a certain skill to cope with their behavior without it affecting your own, including your own driving. Sometimes I’ll say a small prayer for them but I admit sometimes they’re a little passive aggressive (“Please, Lord, help the idiot going 50+ on the icy roads from not creating a domino effect and we all end up in the ER and on the evening news” or “Please, God, help them slow down so I’m not convicted of premeditated murder in court when they hit me and I go Mortal Kombat mode on them.”). I jest but it does help get my mind in a different direction for a moment. And if anyone’s frustrated with human behavior, I imagine, it’s God so I’m sure he understands.

      Thanks for reading! 😁

  2. This was absolutely great! I hope you don’t mind if I laughed my way through it! I understand completely and have experienced many wacko drivers doing things that I wonder how they ever stay out of accidents. Maybe its because everyone else gets out of their way!

    1. Haha not at all! I’m very pleased to know someone’s laughing from what I wrote. We all need humor in our lives. 😁

      And agreed–maybe it’s like dodging a wild bull. Everyone gets over or runs.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s