Blogmas 2019

Blogmas: A Snarky Recipe for Christmas Happiness (Humor |Day 17)🎄

  1. Add one cup of NOT keeping up with the Joneses. You can do this, I know.
  2. Consume goodies until you’re full; stop afterwards. Over eating one day a year at Christmas won’t blow your diet–it’s the other 364 days of the year. See above.
  3. Get rid of presents or limit them. Play board games or do another free activity together instead with something you already have. This will release pressure and make the happiness biscuits of Christmas rise better.
  4. Dump all me-monster, narcissistic, whining relatives into garbage dump or hole behind house (whichever is easier) before gathering. It’ll make the holiday better, trust me. Poke them with a stick every four to six hours. If they still grumble, they’re fine.
  5. Add one well behaved dog to the mix. Pets make everything better.
  6. Do not pressure your spouse/partner into buying gifts for you that are over your shared budget. Same for the other holidays. Your gift should be being together.
  7. Avoid traditions for the sake of traditions. See fruitcake.
  8. Do offer free gifts of kindness. Such examples include shoveling snow for neighbors and not singing Christmas carols door to door terribly off-key. You will scare the birds and people will call the police to report a suspected murder. Honestly, move along.
  9. Feed the birds. Refill your bird feeders in the Winter. Otherwise some unhappy bird soldiers will take aim at your car windows. Three, two, one: take aim, my fellow warriors!
  10. Christmas does not equal materialism. Christmas equals Christ. If you celebrate differently, remember your meaning for the season. Don’t let money, pressure or anxiety win. And yes, I’m working on this one, too.

I did 45 minutes of cycling today at work. Working to catch up!

See you tomorrow for Day 18! Ker kaw.🎄🦉

 

Awards

Blogger Nomination: Behind the Blogger (Author)

Thank you, Steve for the nomination! So very kind of you and Muffin. Everyone, read his blog now. Canada, cats, birds and bears–oh my.  It’s one of my favorites and I read it several times a week. It’s good medicine.

The rules and my answers are below:

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Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Indie Author Humor: The Magical Parking Garages

To continue my posts on driving, I would like to examine another specimen–the ominous, the abysmal, the tomb-like death trap we all know and love: the parking garage.

Now I am familiar with two general varieties of parking garages: the mostly above ground type and the strictly below ground garages. These latter types are also known as crypts, believe it or not, due to the high body counts they acquire. Either variety you pick, however, have beasts waiting within their labyrinths of blind corners and enough riddles to make you stop and question life’s conundrums.

I give you: the magical parking garages.

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Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Indie Author Humor: Magical Roads

There is a road, or several really, that I pass on my daily commute. At certain times, the rules the rest of us peons follow whilst driving on these roads become obsolete. I watch as people run red lights at 40 mph+. I observe as drivers turn left from what I would have sworn was a straight only lane. I’ve experienced people doing U-turns only to then go straight on red. I was nearly t-boned during such an instance as I proceeded to turn left on a green light when traffic was clear. Silly me.

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Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Writing: I've Got Gadgets and Gizmos a Plenty...

Witticisms to Keep on Writing!

Are you sweating to the tunes of the typewriter, wondering exactly how your novel’s going to wrap up? Are you thinking you never properly learned your native language and have no business even being near a phone book? Is your dog staring at you, waiting for his walk, fifth potty break of the evening and is demanding his share of the num num installments?

Well, fellow writer, print and post these ten gems at your writing desk and party on with your semicolons and syntax editing. We’ll get there, yet!

Continue reading “Witticisms to Keep on Writing!”