Tag: sarcasm

1. Add one cup of NOT keeping up with the Joneses. You can do this, I know.
2. Consume goodies until you’re full; stop afterwards. Over eating one day a year at Christmas won’t blow your diet–it’s the other 364 days of the year. See above.
3. Get rid of presents or limit them. Play board games or do another free activity together instead with something you already have. This will release pressure and make the happiness biscuits of Christmas rise better.
4. Dump all me-monster, narcissistic, whining relatives into garbage dump or hole behind house (whichever is easier) before gathering. It’ll make the holiday better, trust me. Poke them with a stick every four to six hours. If they still grumble, they’re fine.
5. Add one well behaved dog to the mix. Pets make everything better.
6. Do not pressure your spouse/partner into buying gifts for you that are over your shared budget. Same for the other holidays. Your gift should be being together.
7. Avoid traditions for the sake of traditions. See fruitcake.
8. Do offer free gifts of kindness. Such examples include shoveling snow for neighbors and not singing Christmas carols door to door terribly off-key. You will scare the birds and people will call the police to report a suspected murder. Honestly, move along.
9. Feed the birds. Refill your bird feeders in the Winter. Otherwise some unhappy bird soldiers will take aim at your car windows. Three, two, one: take aim, my fellow warriors!
10. Christmas does not equal materialism. Christmas equals Christ. If you celebrate differently, remember your meaning for the season. Don’t let money, pressure or anxiety win. And yes, I’m working on this one, too.

I did 45 minutes of cycling today at work. Working to catch up!

See you tomorrow for Day 18! Ker kaw.🎄🦉