Tag: Blogmas

Blogmas 2019

Blogmas: A Snarky Recipe for Christmas Happiness (Humor |Day 17)🎄

Peregrine Arc: An Author's Scratchwork
  1. Add one cup of NOT keeping up with the Joneses. You can do this, I know.
  2. Consume goodies until you’re full; stop afterwards. Over eating one day a year at Christmas won’t blow your diet–it’s the other 364 days of the year. See above.
  3. Get rid of presents or limit them. Play board games or do another free activity together instead with something you already have. This will release pressure and make the happiness biscuits of Christmas rise better.
  4. Dump all me-monster, narcissistic, whining relatives into garbage dump or hole behind house (whichever is easier) before gathering. It’ll make the holiday better, trust me. Poke them with a stick every four to six hours. If they still grumble, they’re fine.
  5. Add one well behaved dog to the mix. Pets make everything better.
  6. Do not pressure your spouse/partner into buying gifts for you that are over your shared budget. Same for the other holidays. Your gift should be being together.
  7. Avoid traditions for the sake of traditions. See fruitcake.
  8. Do offer free gifts of kindness. Such examples include shoveling snow for neighbors and not singing Christmas carols door to door terribly off-key. You will scare the birds and people will call the police to report a suspected murder. Honestly, move along.
  9. Feed the birds. Refill your bird feeders in the Winter. Otherwise some unhappy bird soldiers will take aim at your car windows. Three, two, one: take aim, my fellow warriors!
  10. Christmas does not equal materialism. Christmas equals Christ. If you celebrate differently, remember your meaning for the season. Don’t let money, pressure or anxiety win. And yes, I’m working on this one, too.

I did 45 minutes of cycling today at work. Working to catch up!

See you tomorrow for Day 18! Ker kaw.🎄🦉

 

Blogmas 2019, Labrador Lessons

Blogmas: The Joys of Labradors (Humor |Day 16)🐾

Peregrine Arc: An Author's Scratchwork

We have a Labrador Retriever mix. She was heartworm positive when she was rescued and she’s been free of heartworm and healthy ever since. Three cheers!

Here are a few funny thoughts about our dog that have come up over the years. See if you can relate to any.

  1. My Labrador believes she is a lap dog. My dog weighs around 52lbs and likes to sit on top of me, while I’m sitting in a chair. Her butt usually ends up right around my neck. Yes, dear dog of mine, I’m not going anywhere. Wouldn’t dream of it.
  2. Labs love to eat. I once had a vet tech suggest to me that if my dog was still hungry after her meals, to simply mix frozen vegetables into her dog food. My response? “She’s a Lab; she’s always hungry.” If I left her dog food canister open, I’d come home to a very happy walrus.
  3. I asked my dog recently: “What would you do if you had opposable thumbs?” Her answer: “Open the refrigerator door, of course.”
  4. Lastly, I like to check in with my dog. See if she feels loved, safe and well taken care of. Her critique? “More num nums, less baths. Keep congratulating me after I go poo; it’s a big deal to me. And let me roll around in dead things more often. It’s a treat you humans just simply don’t understand.”

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And there you have it. I plan to catch up on my cycling today and tomorrow. I’ll try to post a picture of the timer later.

See you tomorrow for Day 17! 🚴‍♀️

Blogmas 2019, Writing: I've Got Gadgets and Gizmos a Plenty...

Blogmas 2019: Days 13 – 15 (My Writing Room) 🧟‍♀️

Peregrine Arc: An Author's Scratchwork

I have a statue of a witch that I keep in a corner of my writing room. She was the last statue in a display of marked down Halloween items I found earlier this year. I thought she was well designed in her black and glittering robes and her tall, pointy sloped hat. Her features were gnarled and realistic. Love at first sight.

Over time, however, she actually began to scare me. It was usually when I had just finished reading a good ghost story or I began hearing the creaks of our house that sound like footsteps. Overactive writer’s imagination, you know.

I started to picture her appearing next to me while I was on my bike with my back turned to her, or creeping up to me while I was working at my desk and she was in my periphery. I began considering putting her in storage until Halloween, or until the year 2080. But then I realized something. I write horror, don’t I? Perhaps I need something that scares me a little in my writing room…

Continue reading “Blogmas 2019: Days 13 – 15 (My Writing Room) 🧟‍♀️” →