Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: “The Pan-Dammit” Pandemic (Snarky Humor)🀦🌴

I lost my cherub-like demeanor today. It crept up slowly. I went to one of my favorite bookstores/nerdy stores today. I had been looking forward to it all day, as they recently reopened (partially). Shortly upon entering, I was told “May I help you find anything? We’re closing in ten minutes.” I smiled politely (pointless behind my mask) and said “No thank you” and proceeded to find the saint to leave. Then another worker came up to me:

“WE’RE CLOSING IN FIVE MINUTES. GET YOUR CRAP AND GET OUT, YOU LITTLE PUNK!!”

Ahem. I exaggerate a little, but that’s how the message filtered into my brain. Sniff.

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Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: Retail Therapy (25 Books on Clearance/Sale)πŸ“šπŸ“š

Oh, the clearance sections of used book stores are certainly magical places. I’ve found many an excellent story hidden among the stacks of forgotten lore. There was even a sale today on top of the clearance prices. Oh, joy. Oh, rapture.

And in case anyone’s counting, one book (Building Blocks) was hidden accidentally when I took the photo. Happy reading.

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Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: “The Case of the Missing Money” (Humor)πŸ•΅οΈβ€β™€οΈ

We were walking down the street of an affluent neighborhood, having just gotten our Starbucks to keep our peepers open for the evening beat: a PSL for the Saint and a hot mint tea for me. It was the type of joint where people didn’t lock their bicycles in front of the stores and the want ads of the local newsletter sold comfort, security and false promises of legacy to the aging population.

My partner and I were passingΒ the neighboring ice cream store when my eyes landed upon a wad of cash laying on the sidewalk. I picked it up, counted it: a ten and a one. No money clip. Hmm, not much cash for the folks running around here. We considered turning it in to the ice cream shop’s lost and found when we spotted a group of young girls gaggling together, about 30 feet away as the crow flies.

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Ponderings

Author: Thoughts on Time (INTJ |Humor) β°

I find myself indignant at clocks in the morning, or rather at the time when I arrive somewhere. I tend to run behind at set times when it’s routine; I tend to be early when it’s a non-routine event. Have I lost you yet?

I’ve tended to be a few minutes late to work most days since I started my adult career. Nothing outlandish; five minutes or less usually, sometimes ten if you include limping from the parking garage (granting I survive it another day), nursing my burn wounds from another wrong-way driver. I flip flop between berating myself over it and giving myself grace. I get excellent reviews at work and excel in my field professionally. I do make up time, but through the honor system and when projects call for overtime. Why then does punctuality seem to be my hang-up? I pondered this and here’s what I came up with…

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Contest Entries, Short Stories & Poetry

Author: Terrible Poetry Contest Entry

This week’s Terrible Poetry Contest is over at Chelsea’s page. Give it a read, give it a whirl, chuckle and snuffle until the words all swirl.

This week’s theme is losing something dear to you. I was daring and wrote about losing my patience.

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Star Jar

Author: Star Jar & More Questions (Humor/Free E-Book Giveaway)

Here’s the second half of the questions/topics I received for my Star Jar. These are all questions from the one and only, Ms. Chelsea.

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Awards

Blogger Nomination: Behind the Blogger (Author)

Thank you, Steve for the nomination! So very kind of you and Muffin. Everyone, read his blog now. Canada, cats, birds and bears–oh my.Β  It’s one of my favorites and I read it several times a week. It’s good medicine.

The rules and my answers are below:

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Contests Held

Creativity Contest: The Flying Movie Theatre Goer πŸŽ₯🍿

Two weeks ago you came across a sewing pin in a restaurant, a neat restaurant, mind you, that was set inside a historic house. You’re waiting for your vegan meal when you spot the pointy fiend on the floor. You pick it up to save someone’s foot and…wham! You’re transported through time and, what’s that? You’re getting married? Read the comments in that entry to see the endings people came up with for this pointed tale. (See what I did there?)

So let’s get to it. This week’s prompt. You’re at a movie theater, yours to describe. You got your tickets scanned with the beep-boop laser gun and you’re granted access into the dimly lit movie theatre hall. You’re waiting to go into your theatre room when a teenager comes out of a side bathroom and suddenly stares at you. He places himself in the middle of the hallway and spreads his arms out to either side, standing perfectly still, legs tightly together. Your eyes drift away in embarrassment and then drift back, assessing the situation. You sense he’s playing with you and waiting for a response. You don’t sense a threat. So you respond.

“Are you flying?” you ask, ever so bluntly.

The teenager shifts and you sense a crack of embarrassment seeping through his act. Clearly he didn’t expect you to confront his odd behavior and so politely.

“High as a kite,” he responds.

He lowers his arms, grins, and begins to walk away. He disappears, directly through a solid wall. You’re the only one who saw him, you realize, and the wall is still shimmering where he went through. You decide to follow, wondering what on earth just happened and what this guy’s deal is. The movie can wait for the moment…

So writers. What do you find? What happens? And more importantly, did you order me a pretzel? No butter or dairy, please. That vegan thing is real.

The rules are below. No winners/losers, per usual. I’m really curious to see the directions you’ll take with this. Pass the pretzel, wouldn’t you? You’re hogging it.

While you’re here, hit that subscribe button and stick around for awhile. We’d love to have you at Peregrine Arc. 🌷

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