Brief Humor & Check-Ins

The Sublime Art of Falling on One’s Face (Humor)

I tend to ask a lot of questions. I like to poke at things and ask why things are done the way they’re done. I turn contraptions of our society upside down, walk around them hemming and hawing, chewing and spitting out the occasional sunflower seed, and even kick at the tires. In effect, I make people nervous. Especially those silly people who follow rules and leaders blindly. They’ve never learned any 20th century history, most likely.

I’ll stare at rules, laws, meeting agendas, policies, handbooks…anything I’m presented with really, as it’s all fair game for the mind to tackle. I’ll ask for guidance on next steps; ask for the big picture from A-Z. I’ll bend down, check out their undercarriages, peer at them suspiciously, ask them who their leader is while throwing up a Spock hand signal. I’ll chew gum and blink; see if it blinks back in Morse code asking for help and mercy. And then, eventually, I’ll ask the question that has toppled empires, dethroned monarchs, and even stopped people from enjoying their ice cream before it melts on a hot summer day: “Why?” In essence, I can thin your patience quicker than a locomotive running over a shiny penny. Choo choo!

I did this recently with a work task I was assigned; I was volun-told to be the hiring coordinator for an interviewing committee. Swish, swish– the questions went out through the gate faster than Greyhounds chasing the Easter bunny. I watched through my webcam as people’s smiles twitched and their patience frayed like a 1930’s pair of Levi jeans. Eventually I did what I do in awkward situations–I fell on the sword. I said “I know I’m probably driving you nuts with all my questions.” Oh, that was the pebble holding back the Hoover Dam. And over I fell–splat!

The act of falling on your face can be seen as an art. Sure, you’ll look stupid–you might even find’s someone half chewed gum on the floor stuck to your cheek. But the knowledge gained–the conversations to be had with the ants found on the ground. The funny way people look when you’re staring up at them, as they stare at you like a constipated bull frog. It’s a true experience, not likely to be forgotten. And eventually, someone helps you up, dusts off your disheveled hair, and says “Job well done; thank you for your work today.” You see–all those questions paid off, eh?

And then you can lolly-skip your way back home, ice cream and ant farm in tow. Now you’re free. You’re free to ask questions of the seagulls, the sky, animals and God–especially God. So shout it loud, shout it proud–I am a questioner. And I sometimes fall on my face doing it.

Cheers and happy writing.

Novel Updates

Update on GOTD: Maniacal laughter

Over Christmas break, I finished writing GOTD, my second horror novel. I am in the process now of tidying up the last third of it, smoothing out some wrinkles, and sweeping up some dust that escaped into the corners. But by and large, it is done. I hear the angels singing from on high…

If you know of any good agents/publishers looking for a spoopy tale, please drop me a message and let me know. I am going to try the traditional route this time. Prayers and encouragement are also appreciated for this bumbling human as she continues along this journey of writing and life. They will be returned in full.

Also, my thanks to Mr. Mike Nevins for reading drafts of GOTD and providing great feedback and also encouragement. He’s a writer as well and I encourage you to check out and follow his blog. It’s full of funny, and often insightful tales.

Cheers and happy writing to you all. May we all keep being encouragers to one another.

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

The People of Excuseville (Five Minute Snarky Humor)

There is a land called Excuseville. A tiny village rather, that’s growing larger all the time. You can visit, you know, but do come with a ready handbag full of excuses. When in Rome, and all that.

“I’m so sorry. I would have been here on time, but you see–I couldn’t find my shoes this morning and a bird landed in my breakfast cereal. Milk all over. Had to change my blouse.”

Or if you’d rather something more colorful:

“My alarm didn’t wake me up. Never mind that I threw it across the room, it still should’ve worked!”

Once you arrive at Excuseville, you’ll come across the various market stalls with sellers advertising their wares of ready made excuses, neatly arrayed on their counters. You may hear such greeting as:

“Come one, come all. No need to take self-responsibility if you come over to my stall. This is the newest model of ready-made excuses, ladies and gentlemen, fresh from the jar. We have everything from “The computer wouldn’t connect to the network, but I did try to plug it into the fax machine” to “I forgot I had to update that software. Is it a problem the servers are going down?”

At every stall, however, you can find a personal favorite of mine. I do highly suggest it, as it’s a local delicacy of Excuseville. It’s called:

“Nobody told me that.”

This excuse is unique, in that it can be used repeatedly, no expiration date. Do try to pass it onto your grandchildren. It’s certainly a unique heirloom.

~Fin~