Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Indie Author Humor: The Magical Parking Garages

To continue my posts on driving, I would like to examine another specimen–the ominous, the abysmal, the tomb-like death trap we all know and love: the parking garage.

Now I am familiar with two general varieties of parking garages: the mostly above ground type and the strictly below ground garages. These latter types are also known as crypts, believe it or not, due to the high body counts they acquire. Either variety you pick, however, have beasts waiting within their labyrinths of blind corners and enough riddles to make you stop and question life’s conundrums.

I give you: the magical parking garages.

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Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Indie Author Humor: Magical Roads

There is a road, or several really, that I pass on my daily commute. At certain times, the rules the rest of us peons follow whilst driving on these roads become obsolete. I watch as people run red lights at 40 mph+. I observe as drivers turn left from what I would have sworn was a straight only lane. I’ve experienced people doing U-turns only to then go straight on red. I was nearly t-boned during such an instance as I proceeded to turn left on a green light when traffic was clear. Silly me.

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Contests Held

Creativity Contest: The Time Machine Sewing Machine (Closed)

Deadline extended another week. 😊✍️

Last week you were told you were the new owner of an antique hotel. You’re hoping to rehabilitate the hotel back to its glory days and are doing what projects you can do to save money. In the middle of cleaning one day, you find a mysterious packet of letters, love letters, with no dust or grime on them, nestled in a cubby hole behind the front desk. And were those voices you heard from the pages as you ruffled through them? Check the comments of that entry to see what everyone did with those letters…

For this week’s prompt, we’re time traveling. Our ship? An antique sewing machine with one of those metal foot pedals.

You’re house sitting, you clever thing, and that means free food and free access to most rooms of the house. What a luxurious job. One day, a button falls off your shirt and rolls under the attic door. With a couple of grunts and oofs, you manage to open the door. And what do you find? Your button is on top of an antique sewing machine, complete with foot treadle and thread. How’d the button get there, seven feet away and on top of the table? Alone, you sit down at the machine and give it a whirl, curious. A la HG Wells, with six vigorous pedals, you’re brought back to six months ago! Now, what do you do?

The rules are below. No winners/losers, per usual. I’m really curious to see the directions you’ll take with this. Pass the thimble, wouldn’t you?

While you’re here, hit that subscribe button and stick around for awhile. We’d love to have you at Peregrine Arc. ☘️

Continue reading “Creativity Contest: The Time Machine Sewing Machine (Closed)”

Contests Held

Creativity Contest: The Time Machine Sewing Machine (Closed)

Last week you were told you were the new owner of an antique hotel. You’re hoping to rehabilitate the hotel back to its glory days and are doing what projects you can do to save money. In the middle of cleaning one day, you find a mysterious packet of letters, love letters, with no dust or grime on them, nestled in a cubby hole behind the front desk. And were those voices you heard from the pages as you ruffled through them? Check the comments of that entry to see what everyone did with those letters…

For this week’s prompt, we’re time traveling. Our ship? An antique sewing machine with one of those metal foot pedals.

You’re house sitting, you clever thing, and that means free food and free access to most rooms of the house. What a luxurious job. One day, a button falls off your shirt and rolls under the attic door. With a couple of grunts and oofs, you manage to open the door. And what do you find? Your button is on top of an antique sewing machine, complete with foot treadle and thread. How’d the button get there, seven feet away and on top of the table? Alone, you sit down at the machine and give it a whirl, curious. A la HG Wells, with six vigorous pedals, you’re brought back to six months ago! Now, what do you do?

The rules are below. No winners/losers, per usual. I’m really curious to see the directions you’ll take with this. Pass the thimble, wouldn’t you?

While you’re here, hit that subscribe button and stick around for awhile. We’d love to have you at Peregrine Arc. ☘️

Continue reading “Creativity Contest: The Time Machine Sewing Machine (Closed)”

Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

The Smite of February: Indie Author & Mr. Swinebottom

January 2019 has come and gone. February is here, smirking at my door step, holding up my list of to do’s and goals. The paper has a bit of rice stuck on the edges, along with some makeup smudges and wrinkles. January is standing behind her, bedraggled, dressed in a suit and talking into a cell phone. A candy cane is hanging from his left ear and a bit of New Year’s confetti is still in his bangs. An Uber pulls up and away he goes until next year.

“Say, author,” February asks, still holding the list and standing on my front porch in stilletos. “When are you going to edit your short story your editor got back to you about, oh…six weeks ago? And isn’t your writing room done yet? And when exactly are you going to get on your exercise schedule, huh?”

She bats her eyelashes and tosses back a red curl. I’m debating between a good old fashioned door slam or a Tae Kwon Do front kick while she continues her babbling.

“This list isn’t going to complete itself you know. Chip, chop. And when’s the last time you actually did some cardio? Looking a little pudgy, aren’t we…?”

It’s times like these when I call upon my trusty sidekick. Some may call it self confidence. Others may say it’s healthy boundary setting and self esteem.

I call mine…Mr. Swinebottom.

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Contests Held

Creativity Contest: The Mysterious Love Letters (Closed)

EqaLast week you were told you were a thief, attempting to crack open a safe. Motive, scene and setting were yours to create. But the twist was you actually never get any of the contents of the safe, whatever you imagined them to be. But why? How? What happened? Well, take a gander in the comments of that entry and you’ll see why. Creativity abounds! 😉

For this week’s prompt, we’re tipping our caps to Valentine’s Day, but with our usual twist at Peregrine Arc.

You are a business professional, an entrepreneur, who just purchased a very old, abandoned hotel. You have big plans to renovate this hotel back to its former glory and you’re doing what work you can solo to save money.  In the middle of cleaning one morning, you find a stack of undelivered letters in the cubby holes behind the front desk. They’re brittle, addressed in cursive and…you can hear whispers coming from the paper. Or at least you think you do. And unlike the rest of the hotel, the envelopes are clean. No dust has settled on them and you strongly suspect they’re love letters by the red ribbon tied delicately around them. Okay, writers. Show us: what exactly do you do?

The rules are below. No winners/losers, per usual. I’m really curious to see the directions you’ll take with this. Pass the disinfectant, wouldn’t you?

While you’re here, hit that subscribe button and stick around for awhile. We’d love to have you at Peregrine Arc. 🦉💌

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Contests Held

Creativity Contest: The Sealed Safe (Closed)

Last week you received a mysterious letter about a dinner guest arriving at six. The guest was yours to invent, along with building the anticipation and laying out the setting. The results were pretty humorous with some unique timing and guests who showed up at the end. I appreciate everyone participating and encourage you to take a look at other’s takes you can find in the entries’ comments. Together, we can spread the joy of writing and dig in the garden of imagination. 🌷

For this week’s prompt, I want you to imagine you are a thief. Whatever motive you have, good, bad, or both, is up to you. Whatever setting and condition the safe is in is also up to you. It could be underwater, in a mine, in a delapidated mansion…Take the wheel of literature and drive us there!

But here’s the twist: you don’t get what’s inside the safe. Do you crack it and the contents are missing? Or do you lose your nerve and get caught? Ponderings. Take it and fly and add a psychological twist for $1000, Alex.

The rules are below. No winners/losers, per usual. We all just want to see your spin on this one. Pass the crowbar, would you?

While you’re here, hit that subscribe button and stick around for awhile. We’d love to have you at Peregrine Arc. 🦉

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Contests Held

Creativity Contest: The Mysterious Dinner Guest (Closed)

Last week we came across a Treasure Chest and you guys delivered. Please check out in the comments below that entry to see some pretty creative takes on treasure chests in all sorts of backdrops of life. I’m thrilled and honored to get a glimpse into other people’s imaginations and what direction they take with a few words and parameters.

For this week’s prompt, I want you to imagine you received a mysterious letter in the mail asking to prepare an elegant dinner for an unnamed guest. The letter has no return address, but is written on thick paper with one of those wax, emblem seals. The guest is to arrive sharply at six o’clock. Like with last week, the scene and setting are yours. Build up some anticipation, but eventually you need to let your readers know who arrived for dinner and why. Take this and fly, fellow writers. 😊✏️

The rules are below. No winners/losers again this week. We’re focusing on delving into our imaginations and seeing what’s behind that dinner table vase in the next room.

While you’re here, hit subscribe and stick around for awhile. We’d love to have you at Peregrine Arc.

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Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Indie Author Adventures: My First Book Review

A big thank you for my first review on Memory Bound at Amazon. Mr. Swinebottom I think is currently doing a lap around Asia in pure bliss, screaming like a child who got hold of a golden Willy Wonka ticket. A screenshot of the review is below.

Any individual celebrations you want to share? Comment below!

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