Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: Overheard at the Peregrine Household (Humor)

This is Mr. Swinebottom and I’ve been visiting the Peregrine Household lately, helping with chores and giving encouragement and motivation

During my visits, I’ve been taking notes of humorous anecdotes I thought I’d share with my fellow Arcians. Sit back and enjoy my following reading…

A Missed Communication

Author (A): “I got an update on our application to adopt a rescue parrot. They said it looks good! They’ll schedule a home visit later this summer.”

Saint (S): “That’s amazing!”

A: “Yea! I’ve been doing lots of research on taking care of parrots. I found three parrot cookbooks, too.”

*Awkward pause as author realized what she said and tries to reorder the words unsuccessfully*

A: “The home visit isn’t going to go well, is it?”

Social Niceties

A: “I got a text asking how my day was going. I responded “Just fine. Robbing banks and hiding the bodies well.””

S: “…”

A: “Funny enough, no response.”

Not at Home to Mr. Grumpy*

A: “I failed another human interaction. I dared to say I liked where I lived. I was told I haven’t lived here long enough. That and they complain about their spouses. If I listened longer, I may have been compelled to set up a Go Fund Me account.”

S: “Some people are never happy.”

A: “Agreed. Maybe next time I can really zing them. Something like, I hate this area so much I think we should raze it to the ground! I got a map of the county in my purse and a marker. I fully believe if we divide up the city equally, we can get this puppy done before nightfall. And then we can see about your spouse and kids you complain so much about. I was thinking arsenic, but I really want to hear your thoughts on the matter.”

S: “Maybe they’d appreciate what they have then.”

A: “That’s my hope, friend. That and they suddenly lose the ability to complain ever again.”

S: “One can only hope.”

*The Saint pointed out this was a bit dark so I wanted to add a note. Sometimes we do need to complain and family life isn’t always perfect. The group I am referring to are people who,  if you gave them the deed to Fort Knox,  would complain their feet hurt from the walk in. ☺️

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