Contest Entries

Author: Terrible Poem About Love💚

Prepare yourself. Take a deep breath. This week’s Terrible Poetry Contest theme is love. My entry is below. Best of terrible luck to you. May the bard’s strings break and curl from hearing your poem.

___

The Green Love

My love for you is like pickles, my dear
You’re like a giant pickle yourself.
Wrinkled, vinegary, tart and you make my mouth pucker

But frogs, my dear–consider
Will never croak our love ballads out the way you do
Birds fall out of the sky, dead at your winsome, cat crying tones.

Screams! My love for you is but a ballad of curled beards
Curled like your toes made of mahogany wood
Oh my dear, I sigh in love
Like a dill pickle.

-A. R. Clayton

Contest Entries, Short Stories & Poetry

Terrible Poem: “Oh, I’m a Gonna Go!”🎶

Oh, I’m a Gonna Go!

I’m a gonna go out where the wind durst blow
Sand in my knickers and mud in my toes
Where cow pies rightly disappear and the crickets eat them dangburned rusted bandoliers!
Where the guns don’t get to shootin’,
Where there’s no high brow falutin’
And everyone dances ’till half past three…
If you need me, why that there where’s I’ll be…!
In the Land of Absolution…!

-A.R. Clayton


There’s too much fun to be had at this week’s Terrible Poetry contest. Have fun and keep writing. ✏️

Contest Entries

Terrible Poem: Bleak Mid-Winter❄️😴 (humor)

Let There Be Light

I don’t mind the cold or that white stuff they call snow
What I mind is the lack of light, if it’s forty days in a row.
Something kicks in, some hibernational urge
And I find myself laying in bed
Snoring a symphonic dirge

– A.R. Clayton


Want to take a try? We’re here, cheering you on. Happy writing. ✏️

Contest Entries

Author: Fast Food, Fast Fat (Terrible Poetry Jingle Contest Entry)🧂

Haven’t done a Terrible Poetry entry yet? I hide my face in shame. Go thither, you knave, and join the peons trying to out write the worst of you.

My regret entry is below. We were ashamed assigned to write a jingle this week by Sensei Owens. May it fill you with discomfort and tears at how badly it is. Cheers.

Continue reading “Author: Fast Food, Fast Fat (Terrible Poetry Jingle Contest Entry)🧂”

Contest Entries

Author: Halloween Poetry Contest Entry

Here’s my entry. Join in on the fun here. The instructions and rules can be found via the link. Good writing and good luck! 🎃

🕯️🕯️🕯️

Halloween Halls

There is a being, you see, upon this evening’s brow;
two stories up, where the night’s extinguished candle was used to enshroud.
Over the flame she turned, over their breath she heard, their pensive dishes of gruel and meat,
their spoons clashing, bread ripping, as they spoke of things without understanding;
without understanding at all.

Notes of music spilt onto the wooden floors; clanging mouths and spit soon sealed every door.
A rush away, chains soon met.
Truth was heard whispering nevermore;
it was beckoned back through the Hall’s front doors.

Now with violence ripped and pages fell,
Darkened calendars and lighted gold,
the lady of the manor haunts her lonely, ever darkened but discreet,
Halloween Halls.

Contest Entries

Terrible Poetry Contest Entry: Entropy

Hey, you there. Yes, you. Go to Chelsea’s page and submit your own Terrible Poem take on Unusual Ways to Make Money. Read the rules, mind the PG rating and dive in. We need fresh blood of the terrible kind.

My entry is below. I took a different turn with this one. Crack on.
Continue reading “Terrible Poetry Contest Entry: Entropy”

Contest Entries

Terrible Poetry Contest Winner: Oi’, Summah!

Lightning has hit twice. I have won the Terrible Poetry Contest for the second glorious time. And everyone rejoiced and roasted Oxford commas over cozy bonfires.

Want to join in on the terribleness? The new contest opens tomorrow. Check out Chelsea’s page for details.

Crack on.

Continue reading “Terrible Poetry Contest Winner: Oi’, Summah!”

Contest Entries

Frank Prem’s Exercises On Inspiration: June Entry (The Hole)

Interested, fellow Arcians? Tail feathers all in a kerfuffle in anticipation? Are the bird louse just making you itch to jump in and participate? Then fly on over here for the shimmy and saddle on up to join. Keep on writing.

This month’s prompt: a place that inspired your writing.

Continue reading “Frank Prem’s Exercises On Inspiration: June Entry (The Hole)”

Contest Entries, Short Stories & Poetry

Author: Terrible Poetry Contest Entry

This week’s Terrible Poetry Contest is over at Chelsea’s page. Give it a read, give it a whirl, chuckle and snuffle until the words all swirl.

This week’s theme is losing something dear to you. I was daring and wrote about losing my patience.

Continue reading “Author: Terrible Poetry Contest Entry”