Reposts/Reblog Shares

The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest

 

Come all, come one. Can you write the most terrible poem to the theme?

Chelsea Ann Owens

Welcome to The Weekly Terrible Poetry Contest! This is our 34th time of offending the internet and I hope we continue to disappoint.

As those who’ve entered before know, writing terrible poetry is an art form. To truly offend one’s sensibilities; a bad poet needs to nearly fit a meter, almost follow a rhythmic pattern, or get so close to a beautiful description his audience starts picturing EXIT signs instead of snow falling gently in a springtime field. I explain the process a bit here.

Besides that, here are this week’s specifics:

  1. Topic: Animals and their pregnancy.
    Did you know the African Bush Elephant carries …well, an elephant for 22 months? That a male seahorse carries the babies (up to 1,500!)? Or that female Komodo Dragons can impregnate themselves without a male through a process called parthenogenesis?
    Did you know you’re going to write a poem about it?

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Contest Entries

Terrible Poetry Contest Entry: Entropy

Hey, you there. Yes, you. Go to Chelsea’s page and submit your own Terrible Poem take on Unusual Ways to Make Money. Read the rules, mind the PG rating and dive in. We need fresh blood of the terrible kind.

My entry is below. I took a different turn with this one. Crack on.
Continue reading “Terrible Poetry Contest Entry: Entropy”

Contest Entries

Terrible Poetry Contest Winner: Oi’, Summah!

Lightning has hit twice. I have won the Terrible Poetry Contest for the second glorious time. And everyone rejoiced and roasted Oxford commas over cozy bonfires.

Want to join in on the terribleness? The new contest opens tomorrow. Check out Chelsea’s page for details.

Crack on.

Continue reading “Terrible Poetry Contest Winner: Oi’, Summah!”

Contest Entries

Terrible Poetry Entry: Parody of “Death (Dog) be not proud”

Here’s my entry for Chelsea Owen’s current Terrible Poetry Contest:

Parody of “Death be not proud” by John Donne

Continue reading “Terrible Poetry Entry: Parody of “Death (Dog) be not proud””

Contest Entries

Terrible Love Poem Entry: Ode to my Hanky

Go to Chelsea’s page to have a crack at this week’s poetry contest. You’ll laugh yourself silly. Just silly. My entry is below.

It’s so terrible, I forgot to save the text. Perhaps my phone was just too much in pain from the experience. Alas, I do have a screenshot.

Continue reading “Terrible Love Poem Entry: Ode to my Hanky”

Contest Entries

Terrible Poetry Contest: Worrisome Noises

Want to take a crack at making cats shriek in horror at the very thought of you reading a poem? Then go here, my fine feathered friend, and may the pencil be sharpened in your favor.

My entry is below.

Continue reading “Terrible Poetry Contest: Worrisome Noises”

Contest Entries

Terrible Poetry Contest Entry: “Terrible Managers”

This week’s theme is Terrible Managers. Join the fun at Chelsea Ann’s webpage and remember–the poem is supposed to be terrible. She’s serious about that and I’m actually trying to get worse.

My entry is below. Huzzah!

Continue reading “Terrible Poetry Contest Entry: “Terrible Managers””

Blogmas 2018, Contest Entries, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

Blogmas Day 19: “Terrible Poetry Contest: Christmas Song” (Humor | Indie Author)

“Welcome to Day 19 of Blogmas 2018. This is Reginald Swinebottom presents and today we’re singing off key. Chelsea Owens is to blame once again so visit her page for the contest details. Add your glass shattering voice to the fray and lets see what depths we can descend to!

“And while you’re looking around, wondering how you got to this weird corner of the internet, click that subscribe button to join the Arcian family. Our goal is to get to 100 subscribers before the New Year. Ker-kaw!”

Continue reading “Blogmas Day 19: “Terrible Poetry Contest: Christmas Song” (Humor | Indie Author)”

Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents..., Short Stories & Poetry

Blogmas Day 13: “Terrible Poetry” Contest Entry (Humor | Indie Author)

“Hello and this is Reginald Swinebottom presents. Welcome to Day 13 of of our Blogmas 2018 Premiere. Please, join us today for another excruciating “Terrible Poetry” reading! The goal is to write a truly terrible poem–extra points for jolts of revulsion and sudden aches of terror. Join the brouhaha at Chelsea Ann Owen’s blog. Enter and join the fun, or subscribe to her page for future updates–if you dare.

The theme is: Parody of “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas”

Continue reading “Blogmas Day 13: “Terrible Poetry” Contest Entry (Humor | Indie Author)”

Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents..., Short Stories & Poetry

Blogmas Day 6: “Terrible Poetry” Contest Entry (Humor | Indie Author)

“Hello and this is Reginald Swinebottom presents. Welcome to Day 6 of of our Blogmas 2018 Premiere. Please, join us today for a Terrible Poetry Reading. Yes, it really is a terrible poetry contest–emphasis on the terrible. We’re signed up with Chelsea Ann Owens for her most recent poetry contest. Enter and join the fun, or subscribe to her page for future updates.

The theme is: That Object That Always Breaks in Your House…

Continue reading “Blogmas Day 6: “Terrible Poetry” Contest Entry (Humor | Indie Author)”