Are you sweating to the tunes of the typewriter, wondering exactly how your novel’s going to wrap up? Are you thinking you never properly learned your native language and have no business even being near a phone book? Is your dog staring at you, waiting for his walk, fifth potty break of the evening and is demanding his share of the num num installments?
Well, fellow writer, print and post these ten gems at your writing desk and party on with your semicolons and syntax editing. We’ll get there, yet!
Peregrine Arc’s 10 Witticisms for Ailing Writers:
- Repeat after me: it’s not the end of the world. Tomorrow is.
- Laughter is the best medicine–right after antibiotics, epidurals and liquid stitches.
- Move and groove. Get up off your hiney and dance, dance, dance. Get the blood flowing and give your brain a smooch with that oxygen, endorphin kick.
- Take it outside. Take your story by the collar and tell it how it’s going to be. Then give it a lollipop and see what’s ailing it.
- Don’t take yourself so seriously. See the funny person in the mirror? Take ten M&M’s and call yourself beautiful in the morning.
- Don’t put the cart before the horse. Are you going about something all wrong? Put down that bucket full of wishes, sweat and tears you’re lugging around; pulleys were invented for a reason. Try something else.
- Tap your shoulder. Are you having fun?
- Tap your other shoulder. Is it hard work? Good, then it’s probably work worth doing. Number seven and eight are not necessarily opposites.
- Change your shoes. Presto, changeo! You’re the reader and look–what luck! A manuscript for you to read, fresh off the press, still in draft form. I think I’ll take a look and share what I think with the writer–after all, they’re desperate for feedback.
- It’s only a book.
Song: Relaxing Studio Ghibli Piano Music, Various Artists