Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Silly Tales & Incidentals, Dah’ling: A Tale

  1. Left a candle burning. Overnight. Lived to tell the tale.
  2. Put the kettle on the stove to boil. Promptly forgot about said kettle. Once saintly husband found it, half the water had been boiled out.
  3. Smacked face into tree limb while on riding lawnmower.
  4. Had to explain to dentist at my appointment that the “tree limb incident” was perhaps the reason why I was having a little bleeding in my mouth. (Turns out I had probably brushed too hard. What can I say–dental hygiene for the win.)
  5. Did a crazy dance of “Get away from me, you murderous villain” whilst swinging my hat around in a parking lot as a huge bug divebombed me. Looked over at the car parked next to ours–definitely was occupied with a man, whom I’m sure enjoyed my impromptu ninja dance.
  6. Perfected my ninja dance of protection on second return to said store parking lot, using my hat as a swinging pendulum device while moving in a straight line, shuffling paranoidly to our vehicle. Science for the win.
  7. Ducked the low hanging tree branches successfully at the next time mowing to avoid getting hit in the face. Lost my hat this time instead to one particularly vindictive tree branch. Promised myself I would retrieve my hat after finishing my chore. Promptly forgot any such thing, leaving it to survive a night of terror in the wild yonder–alone, abandoned and forgotten. Neighbors pointed out my hat to my husband the next evening. Got said hat back. The hat and I may be attending counseling together.
  8. Was doing a landscaping project, and my shovel hit an area where it consistently just would not go through. Rock, I hear you say? Hard clay, yet another? It got personal quickly; the shovel and I had words. I told my shovel that it wasn’t very sharp; it said I was an empty toolshed with no bolts to spare. Turns out, there was a weed blocker fabric that had grass camouflaging it; the border of the bed had originally been farther out into the yard and had been overgrown. Well played, spade. Well played.

Just eight silly (and slightly foolish) things I’ve done lately. Hope you had a good laugh, or at least a smile or two. Leave your funnies in the comments and happy writing.

Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Short Stories & Poetry

Author: A Time of Kerfluffles (Bad Poetry / Humorous Happenings) 🌠

Based on true events….

A Time of Kerfluffles

Two weeks ago, my eyeglasses broke. The pin popped out and the tech’s head just shook. “Too bad, you’re out of luck; you’re a blind, little bat now you idle schmuck. And don’t stumble on the welcome mat on the way out, you putz!”

My finger, shortly thereafter, broke in two; would I ever lie to you? Oh well, it’s just a strain, but I do have people sign my little splint just the same.

And then last Tuesday, I recall still yet with dread: I stepped on a rusty nail head! No scratches, no impailments, no ER trips or sky rocket payments. Tetanus shot is up to date and my guardian angel is going on vacation, post haste.

And then yesterday, or was it two days ago hence? I broke my car’s side mirror, to my garage’s horror and my proceeding recompense. Seven years of bad luck is mine from parking a smidgen too close inside.

No worries and have no fear. Because, even if this superstition is true, it’ll be over so very soon. At my current rate, I’ll be free of this bad luck around, well…let’s calculate and see. Why the year six thousand, four hundred and ninety three!