I was in a meeting for work once, years ago, when an associate shared a story from working at a children’s psychiatric care unit in a hospital. I believe she was in charge of intake and associated data collections with the children.
She shared a story of parents leaving (see: dumping) their children at the hospital, apparently “done” with parenting and sick of dealing with their kid’s issues. This happened more than once, I gathered from her tone. Just imagine if you would for a moment, being a child again (see: no money, no resources, limited education, a most vulnerable state of being overall) and being abandoned by your caretakers. Your brain (for whatever reason) isn’t working correctly; you may be in fact hallucinating. You’re sitting in a hard, plastic chair in an unfamiliar environment, trying to understand what’s happening to your life. And then you hear several words that vibrate across your heart:
“I’m done; you take him.”
I remember silence descended after the story ended. It was a solemn moment, as we all (to one degree or another) worked with vulnerable children and their families. The woman was clearly upset, even now, from witnessing these events. And then she said a bold statement, as we sat waiting for our next meeting to start:
“People suck. They just really suck, you know?”
I agreed wholeheartedly, but sadly. People do “suck”–they’re selfish, ignorant, vindictive, hurtful, and the adjectives could continue, but let’s not weary ourselves too much from one blog entry. The adjective that bothers me the most lately however, especially in America, is uncompassionate.
When people experience suffering, I believe their true self is revealed. All the playacting, the pretty self they put before public, gets ripped away. As a general rule, people don’t like to suffer–they want to be comfortable and seek the easy way out of situations, often times even if it does go against their moral compass. Sometimes this is disguised by the oft repeated phrase “I just want everyone to get along.” No, I don’t believe you do–I believe you just want to go back to the status quo, as it suits your comfort level, your nexus of power and control–your idea of “truth” and reality. Sweep all the uglies under the carpet and just idolize the pretties. Let’s be honest.
This and other reflections of humans and their bumbling behaviors have wearied me lately. Every time I see a Trump flag supporting hatred and white supremacy, a medical mask dangling uselessly under a flapping mouth, or someone cutting me off in traffic because they couldn’t see the merge sign from three miles back on a clear day. It’s soul tiring.
The only ‘solution’ to this I’ve found is to continue walking with Jesus. The true Jesus I mean, not the fake one selling you books for $29.95 with a Crest sponsored smile and Republican endorsements. No, I mean the Jesus who lived with us on earth, suffered in the most horrifying ways, and knows all too well what people think in the deepest chambers of their heart. He is the embodiment of compassion, of love–the truth, the light, the way. He came to serve, and showed us how in turn.
I found myself getting too sucked into the noise of the world and deactivated the social media accounts I had tried out earlier this year. I continue writing my WIP, and prepping for starting to submit my work. I also took the time to redesign my webpage–snazzy, isn’t it? I hope you all are doing well and taking care of your headspace and well-being. Take care and happy writing.
A.R. Clayton 