Blogmas 2018

Blogmas Day 2: The 12 Days of Writing (Humor | Indie Author)

“This is Reginald Swinebottom presents and this is Day 2 of our 2018 Blogmas Premiere. Please join us tonight for “The 12 Days of Writing.” Our orchestra in the pit will accompany us and I will be directing our choir to help with tonight’s performance…”

Choir bobs in place, swaying in time to the music. Mr. Swinebottom climbs on top of his platform and begins conducting.

“On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…a pesticide free pear tree.”

“On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me…two semi-colons and a pesticide free pear tree…”

“On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me…three french fries, two semi colons and a pesticide free pear tree….”

Choir member pipes up: “Hey, a vegan author needs to eat!”

“On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…four plot twists, three french fries, two semi colons and a pesticide free pear tree…”

“On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…five hundred blog pings! Four plot twists, three french fries, two semi colons and a pesticide free pear tree…”

Mr. Swinebottom looks back at the audience and flashes a grin, clearly enjoying himself. He rolls up his sleeves and increases the tempo.

“On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…six finished pages, five hundred blog pings! Four plot twists, three french fries, two semi colons and a pesticide free pear tree…”

“On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me…seven sharpened pencils, six finished pages, five hundred blog pings! Four plot twists, three french fries, two semi colons and a pesticide free pear tree…”

“On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…eight critics raving, seven sharpened pencils, six finished pages, five hundred blog pings! Four plot twists, three french fries, two semi colons and a pesticide free pear tree…”

Mr. Swinebottom digs in, the orchestra playing a quick, trumpeting fanfare. The audience is spellbound.

“On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…nine Labradors dancing, eight critics raving, seven sharpened pencils, six finished pages, five hundred blog pings! Four plot twists, three french fries, two semi colons and a pesticide free pear tree…”

“On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, ten readers cheering, nine Labradors dancing, eight critics raving, seven sharpened pencils, six finished pages, five hundred blog pings! Four plot twists, three french fries, two semi colons and a pesticide free pear tree…”

“On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me…eleven reviewers sharing, ten readers cheering, nine Labradors dancing, eight critics raving, seven sharpened pencils, six finished pages, five hundred blog pings! Four plot twists, three french fries, two semi colons and a pesticide free pear tree…”

Mr. Swinebottom: “And finally…we’ve made it! Let’s go out with a big finish. All together now!”

“On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…twelve glorious edits! Eleven reviewers sharing, ten readers cheering, nine Labradors dancing, eight critics raving, seven sharpened pencils, six finished pages, five hundred blog pings! Four plot twists, three french fries, two semi colons and a pesticide free pear tree…”

Confetti, tinsel and streamers fall on the audience and stage members. The audience stands in unison, raving and cheering. The hall fills with applause, whistles and yells for encores.

“This is Reginald Swinebottom presents and this was The Twelve Days of Writing. Thank you and please join us again tomorrow for another day of Blogmas 2018.

“Are we up for an encore? Alright then. Choir ready? And a 1, and a 2, and a 1, 2, 3…”

5 thoughts on “Blogmas Day 2: The 12 Days of Writing (Humor | Indie Author)”

    1. There’s a Lab in my book. He’s based off of my Labrador rescue we have at home. She’s not the best writing buddy but she does remind me to take breaks. She stars in my Labrador Lessons blogs, too.

      Or the other answer could be (from a dog lover): “Why not?” Haha. ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜Š

      Liked by 1 person

      1. PS: totally valid question btw. Dogs are usually in all my stories and books. My editor is working on one of my short stories right now and sure enough…there’s a dog! ๐Ÿ•

        Like

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