Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

Blogmas Day 22: Mr. Swinebottom Presents “The True Tale of the Christmas Fire” (Humor | Indie Author)

“Welcome to Day 22 of Blogmas 2018. This is Reginald Swinebottom presents and you’re in for a real treat tonight. Our story involves a mysterious fire, unexpected humor and sudden mischief.

“Tonight’s tale begins on a Friday evening, as the author and saint gather around a Pokemon Monopoly board game they just opened…”

The curtain opens to a stage setting of a quaint, cozy living room with a grey rug. The saint and author are about to play a board game and the Labrador is laying comfortably on the couch.

Author (A): “I want to be Togepei!”

Saint (S): “The railroads on here are Pokeballs–look! And the board areas are based around gym leaders.”

The author looks over and notices red flashing lights reflecting in the front window.  A firetruck approaches and parks in front of their house.

A: “What is this? What is this?”

S: “They’re getting out and walking towards the back of our house…”

A: “I’m naked!”

Mr. Swinebottom (SB): “The author is indeed not naked, but she is in her pajamas. Therefore she feels…under dressed.

“The author and saint scurry to their kitchen, trying to discover what the firefighters are up to.”

A: “What are they…Oh my gosh. There’s a fire! The electric pole, the top of it, the one right by our shed. It’s on fire. Look!”

S: “Oh my gosh…”

A: “Go out and talk to them. I can’t, I’m naked. I’ll hold the dog.”

S: “You’re not naked. I’ll be right back.”

SB: “The saint dashes outside to talk with a fireman walking around their backyard. The firetruck out front turns on its spotlights and many men begin to mill around. The Labrador goes nuts and the saint returns.

S: “They’re going to turn our power off later. They don’t know anything yet it seems. Our neighbor called it in.”

A: “Thank goodness. I wonder why they’re not getting the hose out yet.”

S: “Electric Pokemon and water Pokemon don’t mix, remember?”

Audience laughs lightheartedly.

A: “This is intense. Oh look, a sheriff’s car just arrived. And the electric company is here, too. The more the merrier…”

S: “Hopefully they get it fixed soon.”

A: “I don’t think we’ll have power tonight or tomorrow. This is not a duct tape situation.”

SB: “The two sit on their couch, watching the shenanigans unwind. The Labrador settles down besides them and relaxes. They watch as the firemen hook up a hose and haul it across the lawn. Another person operates a long ladder with another spotlight. Eventually the power goes out and the room grows cold.”

A: “Well, this is lovely. I’m going to bed. And this is why we don’t get out of bed. We just stay there, or things like this happen.”

S:  “I can’t read my book now… And I think the dog has to go potty. What timing!

A: “Wait a second. They’re leaving. They’re all leaving us. Come back–don’t leave us. It’s winter!”

The curtains close on the author’s plea. The audience stills and starts whispering to eachother. The curtain reopens. We briefly see a silent scene with the saint talking with an electric worker who returned. The curtain closes again and the spotlight returns to Mr. Swinebottom.

SB: “The saint learned an insulator was cracked on the pole and the fire started, they believe, by the electricity being unable to ground itself. The electric company hopes to have it fixed by tonight or tomorrow morning. But for now, it’s no heat and no power for our author and family.”

The author stumbles out in a robe with her red polkadot pajamas showing.  She’s holding onto a candle in one hand and a flashlight in the other, looking lost. Her nightcap is askew as she wanders back offstage.

SB: “This is Blogmas 2018, typed out on a cellphone in the dark. Join us tomorrow for Day 23! Thank you, firefighters and co., for all you do! And good luck to the power company.  We’re going to bed. Goodnight!”

2 thoughts on “Blogmas Day 22: Mr. Swinebottom Presents “The True Tale of the Christmas Fire” (Humor | Indie Author)”

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