Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

The Smite of February: Indie Author & Mr. Swinebottom

January 2019 has come and gone. February is here, smirking at my door step, holding up my list of to do’s and goals. The paper has a bit of rice stuck on the edges, along with some makeup smudges and wrinkles. January is standing behind her, bedraggled, dressed in a suit and talking into a cell phone. A candy cane is hanging from his left ear and a bit of New Year’s confetti is still in his bangs. An Uber pulls up and away he goes until next year.

“Say, author,” February asks, still holding the list and standing on my front porch in stilletos. “When are you going to edit your short story your editor got back to you about, oh…six weeks ago? And isn’t your writing room done yet? And when exactly are you going to get on your exercise schedule, huh?”

She bats her eyelashes and tosses back a red curl. I’m debating between a good old fashioned door slam or a Tae Kwon Do front kick while she continues her babbling.

“This list isn’t going to complete itself you know. Chip, chop. And when’s the last time you actually did some cardio? Looking a little pudgy, aren’t we…?”

It’s times like these when I call upon my trusty sidekick. Some may call it self confidence. Others may say it’s healthy boundary setting and self esteem.

I call mine…Mr. Swinebottom.

Continue reading “The Smite of February: Indie Author & Mr. Swinebottom”

Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

Blogmas Day 22: Mr. Swinebottom Presents “The True Tale of the Christmas Fire” (Humor | Indie Author)

“Welcome to Day 22 of Blogmas 2018. This is Reginald Swinebottom presents and you’re in for a real treat tonight. Our story involves a mysterious fire, unexpected humor and sudden mischief.

“Tonight’s tale begins on a Friday evening, as the author and saint gather around a Pokemon Monopoly board game they just opened…”

Continue reading “Blogmas Day 22: Mr. Swinebottom Presents “The True Tale of the Christmas Fire” (Humor | Indie Author)”

Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

Blogmas Day 21: “Another Terrible Christmas Quote” (Humor | Indie Author)

Welcome to Day 21 of Blogmas 2018. It’s a shortie snorter today. I’m leaving you with a terrible, but funny, quote from Dr. Seuss’ “The Grinch”. This quote is from the live action movie starring Jim Carrey.

Continue reading “Blogmas Day 21: “Another Terrible Christmas Quote” (Humor | Indie Author)”

Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

Blogmas Day 20: “A Terrible Christmas Quote” (Humor | Indie Author)

Welcome to Day 20 of Blogmas 2018. It’s a shortie but goodie today. I’m leaving you with a terrible, but funny, quote from Charles Dicken’s “A Christmas Carol.” Enjoy

Continue reading “Blogmas Day 20: “A Terrible Christmas Quote” (Humor | Indie Author)”

Blogmas 2018, Contest Entries, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

Blogmas Day 19: “Terrible Poetry Contest: Christmas Song” (Humor | Indie Author)

“Welcome to Day 19 of Blogmas 2018. This is Reginald Swinebottom presents and today we’re singing off key. Chelsea Owens is to blame once again so visit her page for the contest details. Add your glass shattering voice to the fray and lets see what depths we can descend to!

“And while you’re looking around, wondering how you got to this weird corner of the internet, click that subscribe button to join the Arcian family. Our goal is to get to 100 subscribers before the New Year. Ker-kaw!”

Continue reading “Blogmas Day 19: “Terrible Poetry Contest: Christmas Song” (Humor | Indie Author)”

Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

Blogmas Day 18: “Challenge: Describe A Book in Ten Words” (Humor | Indie Author)

“Welcome to Day 18 of Blogmas 2018. This is Reginald Swinebottom presents and we’re reposting this blog as the author accidentally deleted it. Go team!

“We’re spicing things up today with a Blogmas Book Challenge! Describe a favorite book in exactly ten words–no more, no less. Do this on your blog, link this entry and comment below with your pick. If you do, we’ll take a lookylou! Together, we can find some hidden gems out there. Isn’t that fab? Our ten words and book are below.

While you’re here, join the Arcian family and hit that subscribe button. One more ding brings us one more closer to our 100 goal by New Year’s Eve.

Continue reading “Blogmas Day 18: “Challenge: Describe A Book in Ten Words” (Humor | Indie Author)”

Blogmas 2018, Christianity: My Journey & Thoughts, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents..., Writing: I've Got Gadgets and Gizmos a Plenty...

Blogmas Day 15: “Favorite Bible Verses” (Humor | Indie Author)

“This is Reginald Swinebottom presents. Welcome to Day 15 of Blogmas 2018. Grab your mittens and let’s get crackin’!”

Continue reading “Blogmas Day 15: “Favorite Bible Verses” (Humor | Indie Author)”

Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

Blogmas Day 14: “Beware: It’s a Terrible Q & A Session” (Humor | Indie Author)

“This is Reginald Swinebottom presents. Welcome to Day 14 of Blogmas 2018. Heaven help us today…”

Continue reading “Blogmas Day 14: “Beware: It’s a Terrible Q & A Session” (Humor | Indie Author)”

Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents..., Short Stories & Poetry

Blogmas Day 13: “Terrible Poetry” Contest Entry (Humor | Indie Author)

“Hello and this is Reginald Swinebottom presents. Welcome to Day 13 of of our Blogmas 2018 Premiere. Please, join us today for another excruciating “Terrible Poetry” reading! The goal is to write a truly terrible poem–extra points for jolts of revulsion and sudden aches of terror. Join the brouhaha at Chelsea Ann Owen’s blog. Enter and join the fun, or subscribe to her page for future updates–if you dare.

The theme is: Parody of “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas”

Continue reading “Blogmas Day 13: “Terrible Poetry” Contest Entry (Humor | Indie Author)”

Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

Blogmas Day 11: “Author’s Favorite YouTube Videos” (Humor | Indie Author)

Welcome to Day 11 of Blogmas 2018. Today we’re going to do a little soft shoe and look at a few of the author’s favorite YouTube Videos. Sit back and enjoy…”

Continue reading “Blogmas Day 11: “Author’s Favorite YouTube Videos” (Humor | Indie Author)”