Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Indie Author Update: Found the Writing Desk

The Saint, Mr. Swinebottom, the Labrador and myself have done it. We have found the writing desk.

And if you know who all those people are–congratulations, you’re an Arcian.

And if you’re not, well hit that subscribe button and grab a cookie! We’re in for a treat today. 🍪✒️

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Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

The Smite of February: Indie Author & Mr. Swinebottom

January 2019 has come and gone. February is here, smirking at my door step, holding up my list of to do’s and goals. The paper has a bit of rice stuck on the edges, along with some makeup smudges and wrinkles. January is standing behind her, bedraggled, dressed in a suit and talking into a cell phone. A candy cane is hanging from his left ear and a bit of New Year’s confetti is still in his bangs. An Uber pulls up and away he goes until next year.

“Say, author,” February asks, still holding the list and standing on my front porch in stilletos. “When are you going to edit your short story your editor got back to you about, oh…six weeks ago? And isn’t your writing room done yet? And when exactly are you going to get on your exercise schedule, huh?”

She bats her eyelashes and tosses back a red curl. I’m debating between a good old fashioned door slam or a Tae Kwon Do front kick while she continues her babbling.

“This list isn’t going to complete itself you know. Chip, chop. And when’s the last time you actually did some cardio? Looking a little pudgy, aren’t we…?”

It’s times like these when I call upon my trusty sidekick. Some may call it self confidence. Others may say it’s healthy boundary setting and self esteem.

I call mine…Mr. Swinebottom.

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Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents..., Short Stories & Poetry

Blogmas Day 13: “Terrible Poetry” Contest Entry (Humor | Indie Author)

“Hello and this is Reginald Swinebottom presents. Welcome to Day 13 of of our Blogmas 2018 Premiere. Please, join us today for another excruciating “Terrible Poetry” reading! The goal is to write a truly terrible poem–extra points for jolts of revulsion and sudden aches of terror. Join the brouhaha at Chelsea Ann Owen’s blog. Enter and join the fun, or subscribe to her page for future updates–if you dare.

The theme is: Parody of “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas”

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