Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Indie Author Update: Found the Writing Desk

The Saint, Mr. Swinebottom, the Labrador and myself have done it. We have found the writing desk.

And if you know who all those people are–congratulations, you’re an Arcian.

And if you’re not, well hit that subscribe button and grab a cookie! We’re in for a treat today. 🍪✒️

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Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

The Smite of February: Indie Author & Mr. Swinebottom

January 2019 has come and gone. February is here, smirking at my door step, holding up my list of to do’s and goals. The paper has a bit of rice stuck on the edges, along with some makeup smudges and wrinkles. January is standing behind her, bedraggled, dressed in a suit and talking into a cell phone. A candy cane is hanging from his left ear and a bit of New Year’s confetti is still in his bangs. An Uber pulls up and away he goes until next year.

“Say, author,” February asks, still holding the list and standing on my front porch in stilletos. “When are you going to edit your short story your editor got back to you about, oh…six weeks ago? And isn’t your writing room done yet? And when exactly are you going to get on your exercise schedule, huh?”

She bats her eyelashes and tosses back a red curl. I’m debating between a good old fashioned door slam or a Tae Kwon Do front kick while she continues her babbling.

“This list isn’t going to complete itself you know. Chip, chop. And when’s the last time you actually did some cardio? Looking a little pudgy, aren’t we…?”

It’s times like these when I call upon my trusty sidekick. Some may call it self confidence. Others may say it’s healthy boundary setting and self esteem.

I call mine…Mr. Swinebottom.

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Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents..., Short Stories & Poetry

Blogmas Day 13: “Terrible Poetry” Contest Entry (Humor | Indie Author)

“Hello and this is Reginald Swinebottom presents. Welcome to Day 13 of of our Blogmas 2018 Premiere. Please, join us today for another excruciating “Terrible Poetry” reading! The goal is to write a truly terrible poem–extra points for jolts of revulsion and sudden aches of terror. Join the brouhaha at Chelsea Ann Owen’s blog. Enter and join the fun, or subscribe to her page for future updates–if you dare.

The theme is: Parody of “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas”

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Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

Blogmas Day 8: Mr. Swinebottom Presents: “Favorite Charities” (Humor | Indie Author)

“Hello and this is Blogmas Day 8. Mr. Swinebottom is with me tonight once again (yay!) and we’re going to talk about a few of our favorite charities. It’s the Christmas season and here at Peregrine Arc, we are givers and believe in paying it forward!

“Come on in, have a candy cane and click that subscribe button to become part of the Arican family. Ker-kaw, ker-kaw! Move your tail feathers and let’s begin!”

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Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

Blogmas Day 7: Mr. Swinebottom Presents: “Five Favorite Christmas…” (Humor | Indie Author)

“Hello and this is Blogmas Day 7. Mr. Swinebottom is with me tonight as we review five of our Christmas favorites. Get some cocoa and let’s read! And hey, while you’re here, feel free to share your favorites below. Mr. Swinebottom may reply personally!

As usual with Peregrine Arc blogs, anything underlined has a link leading to what it’s mentioning. Enjoy and click that subscribe button to become part of the Arican family. Ker-kaw!

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Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents..., Short Stories & Poetry

Blogmas Day 6: “Terrible Poetry” Contest Entry (Humor | Indie Author)

“Hello and this is Reginald Swinebottom presents. Welcome to Day 6 of of our Blogmas 2018 Premiere. Please, join us today for a Terrible Poetry Reading. Yes, it really is a terrible poetry contest–emphasis on the terrible. We’re signed up with Chelsea Ann Owens for her most recent poetry contest. Enter and join the fun, or subscribe to her page for future updates.

The theme is: That Object That Always Breaks in Your House…

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Blogmas 2018, Mr. Reginald Swinebottom Presents...

Blogmas Day 5: Vegan “Power Writing” Breakfast Recipe (Humor | Indie Author)

“Hello and this is Reginald Swinebottom presents. Welcome to Day 5 of of our Blogmas 2018 Premiere. Please, join us in the kitchen today for a very merry “Power Writing” Breakfast Recipe. And bring your wooden spoons, because we’re cooking today!”

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Blogmas 2018

Blogmas Day 1: How to Write A Book (Humor | Indie Author)

Mr. Swinebottom walks out, spinning and handling a cane with ease and grace. He is dressed in a very dapper tuxedo, complete with top hat, pressed coat and pants, and shiny shoes. And yes, his walking cane is decorated to look like a candy cane. How clever.

“Good evening, ladies and gentleman. This is Reginald Swinebottom Presents. Thank you for joining us this Christmas and holiday season. Tonight we are presenting Blogmas: 2018. And today is December the 1st, the first day of Blogmas.”

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