Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: How Are You & New job Storytime (Humor)🚗🧭

I started my new job this past week. Yes, you read that right: I started a new job in the middle of a pandemic. I fought with my GPS, driving here, driving there, to try to get myself set up as a a new employee. On Day Three, Google led me directly past where I needed to go, right into a road that I wasn’t technically allowed to enter. That was fun to explain, right before I was forced to do a U-turn, pass Go and forgo collecting my $200.

On Day Four, Google told me to go straight at a gate that was closed and barricaded. Google clearly insisted on this, and then I believe brought me to a second gate that was also closed and barricaded. I drove around on private property, trying to force the GPS to reroute and recalculate itself to give me Option B. During this time, I was praying fervently that I would make it to my appointment on time and hoping a curious cop wouldn’t find me and pull me over. 

I finally ended up doing a huge circle, on and off the highway, and got back to where I started. My GPS then repeated the same directions that got me into my predicament in the first place

“Take a left at Sesame Street,” Google chirped from my phone. “Sunny days. Everything is, A-Okay!..”🎶

“SHUT UP, GOOGLE!!!”

Let’s just say, my GPS and I are not talking at the moment.

Continue reading “Author: How Are You & New job Storytime (Humor)🚗🧭”

Blogmas 2019

Blogmas Day 12: Cycling & Random Acts of Kindness 🚘

I was pulling out of the formidable parking garage this evening (which I’ve discussed in the past if you’ve been here awhile) and saw a woman looking rather flustered. She was staring at her flat-ish tire, while an air compressor sat nearby (not working) and she was talking to someone on the phone.

I roll down my window (really, pushed the button…It’s 2019 after all) and go:

“Do you need any help?”

She isn’t the first person I’ve addressed this question to in the death trap parking garage that lives and breathes next to my working office downtown. Usually people say “No, I’m fine.” I had one person grumpily tell me, as I approached with my little portable air compressor that could: “Well now I don’t!” I think he was just having a bad day though. I should’ve gave him a chocolate bunny. 🍫

Continue reading “Blogmas Day 12: Cycling & Random Acts of Kindness 🚘”

Ponderings

Author: Thoughts on Time (INTJ |Humor) ⏰

I find myself indignant at clocks in the morning, or rather at the time when I arrive somewhere. I tend to run behind at set times when it’s routine; I tend to be early when it’s a non-routine event. Have I lost you yet?

I’ve tended to be a few minutes late to work most days since I started my adult career. Nothing outlandish; five minutes or less usually, sometimes ten if you include limping from the parking garage (granting I survive it another day), nursing my burn wounds from another wrong-way driver. I flip flop between berating myself over it and giving myself grace. I get excellent reviews at work and excel in my field professionally. I do make up time, but through the honor system and when projects call for overtime. Why then does punctuality seem to be my hang-up? I pondered this and here’s what I came up with…

Continue reading “Author: Thoughts on Time (INTJ |Humor) ⏰”

Brief Humor & Check-Ins

Author: If Tomorrow Wasn’t Friday (A Terrible Reading)

If tomorrow wasn’t Friday, I’d become guilty of voluntary manslaughter.

If tomorrow wasn’t Friday, I’d be streaking up and down the hallways of my work building, laughing like a maniac, passing out killer bees like party favors and tripping people with phonetically placed vowels.

If tomorrow wasn’t Friday, I’d be sharpening wooden pencils and dipping them in Poison Arrow Frog toxins. People would Croak. 🐸

If tomorrow wasn’t that glorious day, I’d make a life-size paper airplane and fly away. So long, suckers!

If tomorrow wasn’t the Fri-to-the-day, I’d find myself beating my head against the computer screen. More work would get done that way than waiting for Susie and Pete to give me excuse #11-80-and-3.

If tomorrow wasn’t the weekend, well, I just wouldn’t be pleased.