Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Ponderings

Author: Eating the Sucker (Gyno Visit |Humor) 🍭

Every year when I visit my lovely gynocologist to do my health (fit as a fiddle), wealth (take my money) and stealth (ninja power level 9000) check, I usually do the same things:

  1. I forget how to get to the office. I remember on the way there.
  2. Once arriving, I try going through the same locked door. I walk down three feet and find an unlocked door. The mysteries of building security.
  3. I see at least one child being mischievous. It was two this time. They were both wearing surgical masks and a newspaper was suspiciously crumpled near them on a chair.
  4. The waiting room has at least one baby, usually more, and a few nervous and bored fathers. I suspect the nervous fathers are first time dads and the bored ones have been through the process a time or two.
  5. I ask the health tech if I can use the restroom like I’m back at school and am expecting to be told no and asked to finish my homework first.
  6. I eat a sucker at the checkout desk after everything is done. Why? Because I forget how old I am. And the check out secretary just smiles and hands me my paperwork. Peace, lady. ☮️
  7. I miss my turn on the way out to get back to the main road. Every. Single. Time.

Continue reading “Author: Eating the Sucker (Gyno Visit |Humor) 🍭”

Brief Humor & Check-Ins, Novel Snippets

Author Interviews Herself on New Book: Memory Bound (Humor)

Interviewer: “Good afternoon, Arcians! We are excited to have with us today, up and coming indie author A.R. Clayton. Peregrine Arc is her platform and Memory Bound is her first pending publication. Welcome!”

Author: “Thank you. I don’t know what an Arcian is but thank you for having me.”

Interviewer: “It’s something I came up with backstage. Your followers need a name, right?”

Author: “Do they?”

Interviewer: “…Yes. Yes they do. Moving on. First question from our fans. What inspired you to be a writer?”

Author: “I’m still stuck on the Arcian thing. Followers should already have names, unless the hospital forgot to write them in on their birth certificate. Or their parents couldn’t make up their minds. Or maybe they were switched at birth, and their actual name is something horrible, like Swinebottom. Imagine finding that out when you’re twenty. That would be dreadful…”

Continue reading “Author Interviews Herself on New Book: Memory Bound (Humor)”