An Author's Scratchwork
Haven’t done a Terrible Poetry entry yet? I hide my face in shame. Go thither, you knave, and join the peons trying to out write the worst of you.
My regret entry is below. We were ashamed assigned to write a jingle this week by Sensei Owens. May it fill you with discomfort and tears at how badly it is. Cheers.
Continue reading “Author: Fast Food, Fast Fat (Terrible Poetry Jingle Contest Entry)🧂”
I’ve been dealing with a particular breed of salespeople lately–Class D: Door to Door Solicitors. In America, they waltz right up to your door, knock loudly and ring doorbells. Their actions promptly wake up sleeping babies as they ignore posted warning signs and they release the hounds of doom to begin barking. They sell everything from politics, religion (I say this as a Christian) to tree cutting services. I understand people need to work, and we treat them with decency and polite firmness, but I don’t find this practice a good business model or even very polite.
The Saint and I recently bought two new No Solicitors signs from Etsy, as our old sign broke. We are putting these up in hopes to deter stealthy agents of capitalism. I’m also considering a moat with alligators and some zombie signs.
One day, though, I may just enact the following plan, as enacted in the beautiful video below. Who’s with me?
Interviewer: “Good afternoon, Arcians! We are excited to have with us today, up and coming indie author A.R. Clayton. Peregrine Arc is her platform and Memory Bound is her first pending publication. Welcome!”
Author: “Thank you. I don’t know what an Arcian is but thank you for having me.”
Interviewer: “It’s something I came up with backstage. Your followers need a name, right?”
Author: “Do they?”
Interviewer: “…Yes. Yes they do. Moving on. First question from our fans. What inspired you to be a writer?”
Author: “I’m still stuck on the Arcian thing. Followers should already have names, unless the hospital forgot to write them in on their birth certificate. Or their parents couldn’t make up their minds. Or maybe they were switched at birth, and their actual name is something horrible, like Swinebottom. Imagine finding that out when you’re twenty. That would be dreadful…”
Continue reading “Author Interviews Herself on New Book: Memory Bound (Humor)”
Peregrine Arc 