Labrador Lessons, Quick humor

Author: My Dog Curses Out Veternarian Staff (Humor) 🐾

My dog cursed out both our vet and our vet tech today. It’s a little known fact that if you translate a dog’s barks, you’ll get language unfit for anyone’s ears. Our vet’s office has been coming out to owner’s vehicles during the pandemic to take the animals in for their treatment; they gives a verbal summary of the treatment at the end.

My dog’s speeches went something like this:

“I told you to get away from this car, you cheap tiara wearing, cat lover who dunks their biscuits in beef gravy and doesn’t share. If you get any closer to MY PERSON, I’ll dig your own muddy grave with my bare paws, you squirrel’s bottom!”

“Please stop barking. I’m so sorry, she usually isn’t like this–“

“And another thing, you blunt toothed canine prancer, spawn of feline, you. You smell disgustingly sweet and clean. When’s the last time you rolled around in poo, or in anything dead and rotting? Does your kind have no decency? You smell like cat and whiskery things that are made to be eaten! Well, today’s your day, lady…SAY YOUR LAST WORDS.”

*Later, in the car ride home…*

“So would you like to explain yourself today? Hmm, oh doggo of mine bosom?”

*Dog gives me the stink eye before leisurely responding from the backseat.*

“They’re all demons and work for Satan himself. If you take me back to that portal of hell and they shove that thermometer into my fluffy bottom again, I’ll take you down with me. And you better expect another pile of throw-up tonight just for sheer spite. Now roll down this window, I need to sniff this funny dog sitting next to us in traffic… HEY, YOU THERE! You’re not a dog; you’re a raccoon in a collar! Hey! Hey! Hey! YOU SMELL CLEAN! HAH HAH HAH!”

That was my day. How was yours? Cheers!

Exercise Challenges

Author: October Cycling Challenge–Labrador Report (Day 9/31)🐾

This is the Labrador reporting here. My human did her thirty minutes listening to YouTube as a break today. She’s been a tired pup and mumbled some funny things like “If tomorrow wasn’t my Friday, I’d be guilty of premeditated homicide.”

My human is peculiar, but very good. I just scared her by barking at something outside in the dark she can’t see. I like to make her jump like that. 😂

We’re still celebrating the one year anniversary of our first book, Memory Bound. Check it out on Amazon or request your local library order a copy. Here I am modeling with it; don’t I look adorable? If you read the book you can find out my name. There’s a whole section titled “The Labrador.” What can I say, I’m one loved pup.

See you tomorrow folks. Ker-bark!

KIMG0060

KIMG0059

Ponderings

The Impermanence of Legacy

I walked my Labrador this evening. Over hills, through mud, grass, gravel and turf we went, smelling, sniffing and eating things of questionable nature before I could issue a stern “Ka kah!”* Upon our walk, we came across a memorial for local fire fighters. In the sidewalk ambling up laid worn bricks with donors’ names etched. Most of the names were erased by the elements, faint letters visible sporadically, leaving nonsense to be deciphered and speculated.

We lingered only a moment, as my Lab was undertaking a smell inventory. In the pause, I became aware how short human memory and legacies are, despite salesmen’s promises. We are born with nothing; we die with nothing. As a stumbling follower of Yeshua, this doesn’t bother me. I chose to place my trust in him and his words, something I don’t consider transient. This speck of dust does hope to leave some books behind, like the Brontës did in their century.  If anything, someone can use the novels to prop open a door for another. Or level a wobbly table or two on the Enterprise. It could happen.

Continue reading “The Impermanence of Legacy”