Tag: Blogmas 2019

Blogmas 2019

Blogmas 2019: The 12 Days of Writing (Humor|Author)🤭

Peregrine Arc: An Author's Scratchwork

 

Throwback Blogmas post for today. Enjoy, Arcians!

Peregrine Arc

“This is Reginald Swinebottom presents and this is Day 2 of our 2018 Blogmas Premiere. Please join us tonight for “The 12 Days of Writing.” Our orchestra in the pit will accompany us and I will be directing our choir to help with tonight’s performance…”

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Blogmas 2019

Blogmas: A Snarky Recipe for Christmas Happiness (Humor |Day 17)🎄

Peregrine Arc: An Author's Scratchwork
  1. Add one cup of NOT keeping up with the Joneses. You can do this, I know.
  2. Consume goodies until you’re full; stop afterwards. Over eating one day a year at Christmas won’t blow your diet–it’s the other 364 days of the year. See above.
  3. Get rid of presents or limit them. Play board games or do another free activity together instead with something you already have. This will release pressure and make the happiness biscuits of Christmas rise better.
  4. Dump all me-monster, narcissistic, whining relatives into garbage dump or hole behind house (whichever is easier) before gathering. It’ll make the holiday better, trust me. Poke them with a stick every four to six hours. If they still grumble, they’re fine.
  5. Add one well behaved dog to the mix. Pets make everything better.
  6. Do not pressure your spouse/partner into buying gifts for you that are over your shared budget. Same for the other holidays. Your gift should be being together.
  7. Avoid traditions for the sake of traditions. See fruitcake.
  8. Do offer free gifts of kindness. Such examples include shoveling snow for neighbors and not singing Christmas carols door to door terribly off-key. You will scare the birds and people will call the police to report a suspected murder. Honestly, move along.
  9. Feed the birds. Refill your bird feeders in the Winter. Otherwise some unhappy bird soldiers will take aim at your car windows. Three, two, one: take aim, my fellow warriors!
  10. Christmas does not equal materialism. Christmas equals Christ. If you celebrate differently, remember your meaning for the season. Don’t let money, pressure or anxiety win. And yes, I’m working on this one, too.

I did 45 minutes of cycling today at work. Working to catch up!

See you tomorrow for Day 18! Ker kaw.🎄🦉

 

Blogmas 2019, Labrador Lessons

Blogmas: The Joys of Labradors (Humor |Day 16)🐾

Peregrine Arc: An Author's Scratchwork

We have a Labrador Retriever mix. She was heartworm positive when she was rescued and she’s been free of heartworm and healthy ever since. Three cheers!

Here are a few funny thoughts about our dog that have come up over the years. See if you can relate to any.

  1. My Labrador believes she is a lap dog. My dog weighs around 52lbs and likes to sit on top of me, while I’m sitting in a chair. Her butt usually ends up right around my neck. Yes, dear dog of mine, I’m not going anywhere. Wouldn’t dream of it.
  2. Labs love to eat. I once had a vet tech suggest to me that if my dog was still hungry after her meals, to simply mix frozen vegetables into her dog food. My response? “She’s a Lab; she’s always hungry.” If I left her dog food canister open, I’d come home to a very happy walrus.
  3. I asked my dog recently: “What would you do if you had opposable thumbs?” Her answer: “Open the refrigerator door, of course.”
  4. Lastly, I like to check in with my dog. See if she feels loved, safe and well taken care of. Her critique? “More num nums, less baths. Keep congratulating me after I go poo; it’s a big deal to me. And let me roll around in dead things more often. It’s a treat you humans just simply don’t understand.”

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And there you have it. I plan to catch up on my cycling today and tomorrow. I’ll try to post a picture of the timer later.

See you tomorrow for Day 17! 🚴‍♀️