“Hello and this is Reginald Swinebottom presents. Welcome to Day 6 of of our Blogmas 2018 Premiere. Please, join us today for a Terrible Poetry Reading. Yes, it really is a terrible poetry contest–emphasis on the terrible. We’re signed up with Chelsea Ann Owens for her most recent poetry contest. Enter and join the fun, or subscribe to her page for future updates.
The theme is: That Object That Always Breaks in Your House…
The Banshee Toilet
Oh woe is me, for I dearly have to pee.
But the truth is, our toilet, why, it’s a banshee.
Every time I go to attend the flow,
it gives off an unearthly bellow!
Eeeek, it cries, after I thrust the lever down.
Eeeek, it sounds, down the hall and across the town.
What is one to do, when nature calls and your knees are crossed?
When you’re hopping around downstairs, until you’re suddenly quite lost?
Grab some toilet paper, my dear
and don’t let the Banshee know your fear.
For urinary tract health is a real concern.
Never hold it, our mothers said–listen and you’ll learn.
—
Author note: Yes, this is based off an actual toilet in our house. And yes, I’ve Googled the issue. It’s a real thing, believe it or not. Cheers!
Peregrine Arc 
Its beautiful! -almost Shakespearean.